How Kenyan women steal their way into their men’s hearts

The 21st Century is the age of independence, or selfishness depending on how you see it. It has brought independence for both sexes. It has not only enabled the modern woman to be more independent and in charge of their destiny, but it has also made the modern man more independent.

Interestingly enough while it has made women more independent financially, it has made men more independent in the home front, literally!

While men in the past had to get married in the name of getting a hot home cooked meal or a nice clean house, the modern man has no such burdens.

Men these days can have their cake and eat it too. We now have supermarket selling cooked meals and the weekly mama nguo who comes in to wash the clothes and keep the house clean at an affordable price.

And who can forget the 1990s women sexual liberation, which has made sex more readily and easily available for men. In the past men had to engage in herculean tasks just to get the attention of a woman. Courtship was a drawn out process, and for one to access the cookie jar, he had to marry the girl.

Today things are so easy for men. Thus the propagation of the Leonardo DiCaprio - syndrome; men who just want to date but never to get married. We now have so many successful men in their 30s and over who are hell-bent on never walking down the aisle. Men who are as happy as pie, fat (I just like to point out that back in the day men got married to get fat) and very single.

So what have Nairobi women been forced to do, engage in forced home invasions. Then from within engage in an elaborate coup to dethrone the powers that be, yes an all-out war but one fought strategically under the radar so the poor unsuspecting man never knows what hit him when it hits him. I call it a come-we-stay assault.

Acts of service

Many men can attest to these, where they dated a woman for a week, and before the month was over she had moved in. And before he knew it, he was walking down the aisle with a sheepish grin even while never understanding how he moved from single and satisfied, to married.

The tricks that smart women now use when stealing their way into such men’s hearts comprise of acts of service. You may take acts of service for granted as it often looks like a woman is stupidly submissive and too giving when she is cooking, cleaning and babying her man. But in reality it is a power play of sorts that has been used by women since the beginning of time, a strategic move to make a man utterly and completely helpless and dependent on her.

If that does not get a man to the alter, plan B is usually to get pregnant, this will usually get a man down the aisle faster than you can say, “I am pregnant”, especially the religious types. Think I am lying? Well, how times have you gone to a wedding and noticed the bride was pregnant? Well, personally, I have lost count!

However, let me further acknowledge that I may be overstating the case for the come-we-stay assault and put a caveat - it can backfire badly.

There are men up in these streets who cannot be tricked into marriage. If it backfires you could be that woman who is 30 with five come-we-stay type relationships, and five children from five different men! So girls beware.