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All children need to be loved, need to be physically cared for, feel secure, have self-confidence, have structure and consistency in life and mix with other children. However, there are some children who have special needs in addition to those described above. They need extra help because of a medical, emotional, or learning problem.
They might need medicine, therapy, or extra help in school.
Don’t be embarrassed
Your reaction on realizing your child has special needs varies from shock to denial, grief to acceptance, fear to despair. Being honest with yourself will help you get through this early stage. It’s not pleasant to know you feel guilty or afraid, but there are common reactions that you shouldn’t try to hide. There is no shame in feeling anxious or embarrassed about having a child with special needs.
Sharing experiences
The first step is to find out as much as you can about your child’s problem and the impact it may have on her development. Try to learn as much about the unique medical, behavioral, and psychological factors that affect her development.
Talk to other parents with children who have similar issues. This will give you a yardstick by which to measure your expectations and determine which behaviors are related to your child’s diagnosis and which are purely developmental.
Once you know what is typical behavior for your child’s age and health challenges, you can set realistic behavioral expectations.
Model behavior
Right from birth, play is vital to every child’s development because it is through play that she explores the world around-she learns through play. But a child with special needs may require extra encouragement to play because she may not show that active sense of curiosity that most children have.
Be prepared to get involved with her if she doesn’t reach out for toys, take them to her and put them in her hands; if she doesn’t squeeze a squeaky doll, put her fingers around it and gently squeeze them yourself. This will provide her with a suitable model of behavior that she can copy, and that will also stimulate her interest.
Many parents become over-protective of the child with special needs, and are more lenient with her than with their other children because they feel she is more vulnerable. But your child with special needs will benefit from a consistent family discipline, so avoid the temptation to spoil her because of the difficulties she is experiencing.
Helpful tips
Accept help. Your schedule is quite involving, what with doctor’s visits, therapy sessions, feeding the child and so forth. And then there’s the exhaustion and endless worry that never seem to cease. You definitely need help from family and friends.
Turning to others isn’t a sign of weakness but rather one of strength. Honesty is the best policy. Allow people into your world by letting them know how hard your situation is. For instance, tell a friend that you find it hard to go to hospital by yourself and this gives them the chance to offer to take you.
Create a list of needs. Many people are willing to help but they don’t know how. Make a list of things that would make your life easier. Then, match the task with the friend who’d have the easiest time helping you out.
Embrace other caregivers. It normal for you to feel you’re the only one who can handle your special child’s care. That’s true to an extent but it doesn’t mean that you can’t get away for a few hours every now and then.
When you leave your child with a trusted family member you’re teaching your child to handle change. She will develop the resilience and adaptability that every child deserves to learn, regardless of overall health. The goal is to help kids be as independent as possible.
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