Is there life after motherhood?

“Having children was my choice. I gave up things and went without for them. I regret nothing. My life was, is and will always be, all for my children.

No matter how big they get. They didn’t ruin my life; they gave me a whole new view of the meaning of life, a true meaning to the word unconditional love. I love you little angels!”...not my words but the words of my friend Bernice Macharia (I love these words and I just had to borrow them.

This week, I have been thinking a lot about motherhood and all the things that mom-fatigue makes me THINK I miss.

But after a few minutes of thinking, I actually realise that I don’t really miss these things. I’d actually say good riddance to them (except on certain days of self-doubt when I have to revisit some of these things to remind myself that I didn’t really want them in the first place).

One picture of a girating mom on social media actually sparked off the self-doubt the other day. It made me miss the good old days when I could answer the call of my girlfriends for a fun night out and step out in weather-inappropriate clothes and blinding mascara to shake what my mama gave me.

But then just as my friends started to talk about “doing it again one of these days”, a funny thing happened – I developed cold feet (well, I lie.

It set me off into panic mode). Who would put the kids to bed? How would I get there? I can’t imagine splurging Sh5,000 on chicken wings, drinks and a taxi ride to and fro. That would wreak havoc on the entertainment budget (which mostly now is for Sunday swimming and bouncing castle outings). And the big question ...WHAT in the world would I wear?

But is there life beyond momhood? If there is, what rocketship do I have to board to get there? Don’t get me wrong, I love what God has blessed me with

 My question is this: It’s OK to take a break once in a while to forget yourself and step out to have fun but what do you do about the guilt, the awkwardness, the feeling that you “just want to get home to your kids?”