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Dear Coleen
I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 16 and four and a half years on, I’m still totally in love.
We get on brilliantly – there’s just one problem. Over the years, I’ve found flirty messages to other girls on games he’s played as well as social media. Although he says he’s never physically cheated, I still don’t know if I believe him.
It causes arguments all the time because I make sly comments to try to catch him out or he will catch me checking his phone.
We are supposed to be moving in together this year and I’ve said we’ll put it behind us and move on. I’m just worried that I’m making a mistake moving in with someone who may cheat on me. What do you suggest?
Coleen says
Maybe he hasn’t slept with another girl, but the emotional cheating is still incredibly hurtful.
Would he think it was OK if he found flirty messages to other guys on your phone and Facebook page? Of course he wouldn’t.
It would be a huge problem for him and he’d ask you to put a stop to it or he will walk away – that’s what you have to say.
The fact is, it’s making you insecure and making you question your relationship, which is not a good basis for moving in together.
If I were you, I’d tell him you don’t want to share a house with him until you can be sure that he’s committed to you.
You’re very young to be moving in together anyway.
Give it some more time and don’t do it until he’s made you feel that you can trust him.
join