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Are you in an abusive relationship?

Readers Lounge By Michelle Dora
Photo: Courtesy

Signs you could be in an abusive relationship

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Very many people are in an abusive relationships but don’t know it. Emotional abuse takes on various forms such as verbal abuse, constant criticism and more subtle tactics such as manipulation and intimidation. This form of abuse is lethal in that it causes uncertainty and low self-esteem.

According to me these are signs you are in an abusive relationship:

I love you but...

This is usually used to try and make the other person act in a manner the abuser wants. For example I love you but if you don’t stop going out with your friends I will leave.

Withdrawal of affection

If your partner sometimes acts cold towards you just because you asked where they were. For example they refuse to hug you or hold your hand because they are supposedly angry this is used to make you drop the subject and ask for forgiveness for something you did not do.

Making everything your fault

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For example when you find out they did something wrong but they end up making it your fault. Usually by saying “I went out with her because you refused to go with me.”


If your partner cheats on you that is a sign you are in an abusive relationship because cheating hurts and makes you doubt your worth.

Excluding you

They refuse to involve you in anything they do whether it is hanging out with friends or going to parties. This is their way of trying to keep you under them.

Making fun of you

It doesn’t matter how funny a joke is if it makes you feel bad or is intended to make you feel bad about yourself it is abusive. Do not allow yourself to be subjected to such treatment.

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If your relationship is anything like this then leave because there is no hope of it getting better. It is important to remember that it is not your fault your partner is abusive that is on them. The only thing you can do about it is get yourself out of the situation before it escalates to physical violence.

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