I love my husband but I lust after my teenage crush who I found again online

I love my husband but I lust after my teenage crush who I found again online

Dear Coleen

I’ve been happily married for six years and my husband and I get along very well.

However, recently I got back in touch with the first man I fell in love with.

I was a teenager and he was nearly eight years my senior. He was a mentor and a very dear friend, but I could see that he too had feelings for me. I think we never spoke of it since I was too young at the time.

When he left to work abroad we lost touch, but I could never forget him.

I did have my fair share of crushes and loves and when I met my husband I was able to leave everything else behind – except this first guy. Nothing seems to get him out of my mind. I knew there would be problems if we got together since we belong to different religions, but I never gave up the idea of working things out.

We have been out of touch for 15 years, but found each other online and all those feelings – that never actually left – are becoming stronger than ever. I have no intention of hurting anyone, but I don’t like the way I feel now.

We talked over the phone like old friends and I started to feel younger again. My friends and even my husband have noticed a spark in me – a kind of radiance from deep inside.

What should I do? How do I deal with this? I don’t want to lose my husband but I can’t say I don’t have feelings for the one who got away.

Coleen says

You’re like me – you’ve watched too many romantic movies! The reality of leaving your hubby for this guy is that it’ll probably be devastating.

You’re saying you love your husband and don’t want to lose him, so why risk it over feelings you had as a teenager? The reason you feel radiant is because you’ve gone back to feeling like a teen again, which isn’t something you can sustain.

I don’t think you ever really forget your first love and it’s not that unusual to wonder what things would be like now you’re older.

But the fact is, after a couple of months of fabulous excitement, a year down the line you’ll be in a proper relationship that will be mundane at times and you will get on each others nerves.

I know social media makes it easier to pursue this kind of thing, but there’s still the delete button – are you strong enough to press it?

Trust me, the grass really isn’t greener unless you’re in a horrible relationship, but you’ve told me yours is great. And even if your husband forgave you cheating with this teenage crush, it would change your relationship forever.