Famous women I'd not marry and neither should you

I would not marry the Nairobi Women’s Representative, and this is just my opinion and not at all a reflection of any other person’s tastes. But as a column consoglieri to men, loud, aggressive women, while they may be go-getters and even great bread winners, tend to come with a lot of noise to the dinner table.

This can be a vexation to gentler spirits and even end up with a man being ‘sat on’ kama kuku amenyeshewa!

Warlike women who walk around in bars and clubs wielding pistols and clubs may also get into fist-and-cudgels with you as their man. And you’ll end up being beaten like a drunken mongrel in Nyeri.

It is also very demeaning for a man to be summoned by his Banyamulenge ama council of elders in the countryside to explain to the baraza of wazees why he is not keeping his woman in check. In short drama queens are the kind of royalty I’d advice a chap to avoid. Purely as a Grammar Nazi, I also would not hook up with a woman who says ‘ayayayayaya.’ You have heard of the short story ‘Too Long A Letter’? It is too long an exclamatory phrase!!!!

I would not hitch up with a socialite like Vera Sidika.

Socialites like Miss Sidika are also always in the social media and most men I know prefer keeping their private lives private.

Then there is the little matter of someone who claims to spend Sh450 000 on hair, Sh50 000 on bleaching one’s skin, and Sh200 000 on a pair of heels. That’s a cool million. Tell you what. I’d rather use that million to buy a real horse, call it ‘Jik,’ put a pair of horse shoes on it and set it running in the Sunday races at the Ngong Racecourse. Jik would be a far better bet, and more profitable in the short, medium and long run, than these socialites.

Beryl Itindi isn’t famous, at least not yet, but I wouldn’t hook up, or advice one to, for a million bob.

First of all, you do not want to hook up with someone with ‘Kamayole’ mentality, not if you want to go far, or even farther, in life. Not even when that tells you they are ‘forward travellers.’ I mean, what does that even mean?

Secondly, okay, I have run out of space. I guess I’m trapped here, in this flat, with Wanga upstairs as my neighbour.

But my plan is to move out by the end of the year to my own compound. Photo: www.blackloveandmarriage.com