How do I tell my wife-to-be I cheated on her?

This week’s topic

I am engaged to this lady and we are just about to get married. We have a baby boy together but I do not feel the same way about her anymore and surprisingly she has noticed that.  However, I have another child from a previous relationship. In our relationship, we fight a lot and one day out of frustration I involved myself with two women on the same day and they got pregnant. The babies were born in January this year. I am in total confusion and just don’t know what to do. The wedding is coming up in like two weeks but I am overwhelmed. Please advise me...

{Mike}

Your take

Mike, you are the cause of all your troubles. In view of the current situation, I advise you to check on your HIV status because you seem to be at risk. On the other hand you may want to come clean if you want to marry this lady to set yourself free of lies, otherwise you risk embarrassment on the day of your wedding. These women will come claiming you to be the father of their children so set the records straight.

{Ouma Ragumo, Ratado}      

You have tasted the fruits of being in a relationship with more than one lady. Liaise with your other lovers and seek for forgiveness then open-up to your fiancée and tell her everything to be true to her.

{Kenneth Tagal}

I think you are just confused. I doubt that you could be having problems with your girlfriend and still rise to the occasion and make 2 women pregnant the same day. Give yourself time to settle then choose what you want and go for it. Marriage is about commitment and sacrifice but it is not for immoral liars.

{Tasma Charles}

Stop the church wedding and go for a traditional one to save yourself the embarrassment if any or all the other women came and disrupted your wedding. Start clearing this confused life you are living and seek marriage counselling. You may also want to start planning about how to handle all these responsibilities.

{Onyango Outha, Jauduny}

Now why do you want to get into a marriage with someone you no longer feel for? Marriage is a lifetime commitment and the decision you are going to take in the few weeks to come will lead you to the right or the wrong direction in your marriage life. Follow your heart!

{Fredrick Omondi}

My take

So you have sired four children (two of whom were sired the same day) with four women; this sounds triumphant but something tells me this is not the kind of thing you want to do in this day and time. I am not judging you but you are certainly in a lot of trouble. If you do manage to pull off the wedding without problems, then get that out of the way. It is going to get much more difficult as the situation degenerates, so I encourage you to go ahead with the wedding. Do not worry about what you feel for her – love is actually a decision we make not a feeling we get. Settle down with your fiancée now also because getting another lady into your life will be making an already bad situation even worse.

 About the other children I advise you to prepare for child support. This is going to come about, so start getting your finances in order. You may also want to keep this “under the radar”.  Some information is too lethal and is only released as and when justifiable need arises. No woman wants to hear that her husband to be is father to three other children with three different women. However, before qualifying for anything, a paternity test for all those children may come in handy just to confirm the actual status of things. {Taurus}

In the next issue:

I was fired from my job about two months ago. I have not yet found another job and I have not told my wife about this. This is because of the way she treats me when I don’t have money. She becomes very hostile and talks ill of me often throwing harsh comments. She even takes the children and goes back to her home until I get money, I follow her and literally beg her to come back. I don’t know how she will react to this. Even though she has a stable job, I am sure she is not going to support me while I am in between jobs and she may even kick me out of the house. Please advise me on what to do.. {Edwin} 

Photo: www.singleblackmale.org

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