Does the music a woman listen to, speak volumes about her character?

It is wrong to profile people using any criterion, least of all music. Stereotyping is a lazy way of doing things. And today I am off to a lazy start.  The problem with stereotypes, Chimamanda Adichie — the venerable Nigerian writer — said is not so much that they are untrue as they are incomplete.

 Away from the brief intellectual posturing, allow me to delve into the issue on the table today: Is it possible to use music to accurately estimate the temperament of a woman? The answer is a resounding yes. And would you all permit for trying to pass as clever by stating the obvious.

 The women I have dated have taught me a great deal about how musical tastes define female attitudes. For instance, steer clear of women who listen to neo-soul. No group is more stuck-up, more entitled than those who have Erykah Badu, Jill Scott  and Angie Stone on their play list. They rightfully assume they have higher IQ than your average woman in the streets.

 A woman who listens to Neo-soul has radical ideas about relationships. It must be on her terms. Period. She probably takes apple juice and her pizza has to be that one that is the least ordered in a Pizzeria. She reads more intellectual magazines and novels by Nobel Prize winners. She has great tastes, and there is no problem with that. Only that she will never be good for a relationship unless you are henpecked and ready to have a viscerally opinionated woman in the house.

 While at it, avoid women who listen to rock, house, trance or any music that is not conventional enough. Some music can only be enjoyed when people are high on what cannot be bought in a restaurant.  The upshot here being that women who use and abuse substances are dangerous. If you are an ordinary man after a good woman to take out, press skip on these categories. They are given to spontaneous, combustible, ephemeral romps and they forget you sooner than they can remember the second verse of our national anthem.

 The third group to avoid is the one that listens to music by Nicki Minaj, Lady Gaga and other insensible plastic women that Hollywood has exported to us in recent times. She is young and plastic like the music. I don’t understand how someone with taste will have Nicki Minaj as her favourite musician, inasmuch there is no accounting for taste.

 Instead, go for a woman who listens to R&B. It means she craves for love and she is affordable. Hopefully. Gospel is equally commendable, even though some Christians have been the worst pretenders around, but they are much better those given to the aforementioned genres of music. If she must be sophisticated, Alicia Keys is the furthest she should go.

 If you want a long-lasting relationship, sustainable and less dramatic, you know where to look. Thank me later.

@nyanchwani

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