If you want to marry, make sure you marry the right person

If You Marry, Marry Well.

That was some advice I got this weekend. I was somewhat startled at the outright admission that I should marry someone who is financially stable and able to accommodate my needs.

Wouldn’t that mean that I’d be essentially a gold digger? Never mind Steve Harvey’s thoughts on gold digging, when he declared:

“I’m here to tell you, though, ladies that the term “gold digger” is one of the traps we men set to keep you off our money trail; we created that term for you so that we can have all our money and still get everything we want from you without you asking for or expecting this very basic, instinctual responsibility that men all over the world are obligated to assume and embrace. ... KNOW THIS:It is your right to expect that a man will pay for your dinner, your movie ticket, your club entry fee, or whatever else he has to pay for in exchange for your time.”

That aside, my friend was talking to me about his experience. He had to leave the providing to his wife. Newly married, this was a challenge to his wallet and to his ego, but he put that aside and moved on to do what he needed to do. Thankfully, she could manage the burden.

In essence, he was telling me to marry well — find a man who would not just finance my dreams and passions, but who would be able to take the burden of the responsibility mentally too. Who is able to translate whatever little resources there are between you two.

Marrying well needs to be about knowing that your partner can make the best out of a situation, instead of sinking with you and the ship.

It also means you make sure that you’re also the right wife material. We joke around when guys say they need a wife who can make chapos, but you’ve got to admit — one of the key assets a woman has is the ability to be a home maker.

It doesn’t matter whether she hires help to do the tasks, or whether she buys take out dishes and passes them off as her gourmet cooking, the point is that she nurtured the family.

I’m definitely taking notes on this one. I’ll be making sure that I marry well, and that he marries well too. Happily ever after? Maybe.