Nothing beats great communication in as far as getting good sex or generally keeping relationships or marriage exciting. Most people have a problem when it comes to talking openly to their partner about what they want between the sheets.
One of the main reasons is that we find such conversations very hard to start or even sustain for fear of perhaps being judged. Most people can attest to the fact that they find such chats ‘embarrassing’. But for your own good, it’s a necessary conversation you must have.
Gentlemen, it’s important to know the right time to start this conversation. For the love of God, don’t start this kind of talk when your woman is tired, busy or after a bad day at work. Best time is when she is relaxed. But during foreplay, talk must be very minimal. We don’t like men who spend a big chunk of that important time running their mouths.
Guys, you must learn how best to say what you want in the sack. Gossiping about how bad we are to your friends doesn’t help. Women hate men who yell orders and use ‘dirty’ words in bed. Nothing excites women like men who listen to them, and ask questions for clarity.
Gentlemen, when asked to ‘slow down’, ‘go faster’ or ‘go deeper’, that is exactly what we want. It’s not about clumsily and ruthlessly going at it as if your life depends on it! Damn it! Be gentle. And remember, half the time, it’s not about what you are saying, but how you say it. If you are uncomfortable with something, don’t yell or accuse or blame us. Say it gently, or better yet offer an alternative.
After sex manners
Heck, we hate nervous men. Also, never compare us to that wild woman you once had. After sex, there are good manners we expect from you. It’s interesting how men put a lot of effort into ‘chasing’ and ‘tuning’ women. What irks me most is how men behave after we say yes. The worst part for most women is how men behave after sex. Jeez!
Guys, we hate it when you roll over and start snoring. Or better yet, jump out of bed and immediately go to watch TV, leaving us there to cool off by ourselves. Come on, hang around and cuddle with us. In the morning, we still need to be aroused before that ‘morning glory’. Just because you woke up with a hard-on doesn’t mean your woman is also ready for a leg over. Don’t just jump on her like a randy goat.
Women need compliments all the time. Tell her she is cute, and it feels great making love to her. Please save us the guilt we always feel after allowing you to raid our cookie jar, by at least talking after sex. “Did I please him? Did he like it? Or I performed bellow par? Gosh, did I give it up too soon? What does he think about me? I wish I was wilder, seems he didn’t like it that much?” We always ask ourselves such when you keep quiet.
Say something about your experience, it makes us feel great about ourselves. I mean, who doesn’t like their self-esteem boosted? At times, it’s important to spice things up by getting naughty. Allow us to put on your shirt or even underwear. Maintain good hospitality after the big game. Oh, and by the way, we are always thirsty after quenching your other ‘thirst’, thus it would go along way if you made a habit of giving us a cold drink immediately after, don’t wait for us to ask.