Churchill Show entertainer Zainabu Zeddy has opened up on the pain of giving birth to a stillborn baby boy.
Through an emotional series of Instagram posts in a bid to inspire others, the comedienne revealed that she sunk into depression and contemplated suicide on losing her second-born son.
Zeddy narrated that she carried the baby to its full term and was in high hopes of being a mother again. She had even sourced for the baby's products in anticipation of welcoming the newborn.
The fast-rising comedienne’s world, however, turned upside down during delivery. Her child had died.
“Nilikua na ball ya second-born. Nikafikisha nine months vizuri but after kujifungua mtoto hakulia, tayari alikua amefariki. Nilishindwa kulia wala kuongea;yaani sikujua cha kufanya. After hiyo miezi yote uchungu mwingi natoka hossy bure!" Zeddy opened up.
The pain did not end there. She faced stigma even at the facility she was admitted in.
“So after kupoteza mtoto unawekwa ward moja na mama na watoto wao sema stress kila mmoja ananyonyesha. Wewe uko solo. Mmoja akitaka kwenda choo anaita mwingine amuangalilie mtoto. Yaani wana ku avoid kama ukoma juu wanaona kama utaiba mtoto,” added Zeddy.
Grief-stricken, she stayed indoors for three months.
"After two days ni karudi home. Ngai!! Naona vile nilikua nimefanya shopping ya baby boy everything was blue,kuna na marafiki wawili walikua na ball nikawaita wagawane vitu juu the more na ziona mawazo yanazidi! Wakahepa ati nawapea nguo za maiti.
“My friends, nilijifungia kwa nyumba three good months bila kuongea na mtu. Ni dawa za kichwa tu nakunywa juu ukifikiria kutoka nje kidogo mtu anapita ‘sasa Mama Shamim mgeni alikuja?’ Naanza kulia tena. Nikakaa kwa nyumba watu wangu!! Sikua na mtu wakuongea naye nilitamani kujiuwa aki lakini rafiki yangu mmoja, Mwenyezi Mungu amurehemu, akaanza kunitembelea tunaongea hadi nikajikubali,” she highlighted.
Despite it all, Zeddy noted that by sharing her story, she hopes to shine a light on the challenges mothers face, and perhaps, form a collective to offer help.
“Am speaking about this because I have found some way we can exploit and get help in closing the doors of pain as we look forward to healing completely. If you are such a mother or you know somebody who has lost a child, please let us communicate and find each other for us to restore our lives and our dignity.
“No matter the circumstances that led to your baby not making it, we are still mothers. And we need to recreate ourselves through psychological support. My story of pain will yield joy for many people and am here to tell you we can wake up and move again” said Zeddy.