They say revenge is a dish best served cold, and when a man decides to cheat on you, that's the only option. But women don't often know how to get back at a cheating partner without getting hurt in the process. This week, we look at ten ways they revenge on cheating husbands:
1. Befriend your mpangos
The whole motive behind cheating is to have a hidden affair with a secret mistress. Most wives will waste hours looking for their husbands' mpango on social media before sending them friend requests. They will engage them, and before you know it, the two share photos of themselves munching nyama choma at Kamakis or shopping for lingerie in Ngara market. Woe unto you if they decide to come to your place of work, laughing like hungry hyenas.
2. Share your dirty linen everywhere
Many cases have been told of how women will rant about their husbands on social media and in those tu chama meetings. They will share how you urinate in bed and, worse, how you haven't even finished paying her bride price. For the crazy ones, they will tell your boys how you talk about their tabias of kuomba pesa kila saa.
3. Date one of your friends
This is the worst. It will cut through your heart. Nothing is worse than learning Johnny has had a share of your wife, whom you have educated using your hard-earned cash.
4. Gain family support
Here, she will reach out to your mother and uncles, claiming how you have abused and used her. As usual, you will be summoned and warned, 'Ndoa ni kuvumilia'. If your mother is a church leader, you are bound to be summoned for prayers to drive away that cheating shetani.
5. Break your car's windscreen
Men love their cars, and what better way than to get revenge by damaging their prized possession. The crazy ones will spray-paint the car with the words, 'cheater and liar', over the bonnet and sides. They could also puncture your tyres, smash a couple of windows and break the windscreen.
6. Walk away
This requires a lot of maturity from the woman. Some will walk away with your kids, vowing never to return. If this happens, know you have lost her for life!
7. Wait it out
Some women will play the wait-and-see game. They will pretend everything is okay, but deep down, they would be steaming with anger. Mostly, such characters might poison you or stab you while you are dreaming about your ka-plot.
8. Play the pregnant card
Well, there's nothing like a nice little pregnancy bomb. This clearly is a woman's weapon. Dropping the pregnancy bomb can be a difficult pill for a cheating man to swallow. First off, it sends him into an absolute frenzy.
He is immediately a major villain, and most likely, will have to cut off his affair. He might even consider jumping out of a window, but at the very least, an unexpected pregnancy will indeed create a huge problem in his life.
9. The little blue pill
This is extreme, but be warned! She will serve you the blue pill and ensure you have a 24/7 erection. Knowing so well there is no cure to this, you will have tu sort yourself, bro!
10. Silent treatment
While there are scores of loud, obnoxious to get back at a cheating spouse, some women choose not to say anything at all. If he's a narcissist, which he most likely is if he had the guts to cheat on you, then there's nothing that will eat him up like being ignored.