Pregnancy and crazy cravings go together like miraa and reggae. Men never understand a thing about these cravings. One minute a paged sweetheart is throwing kokoto behind her mouth like njugu karanga and just before midnight she will be sobbing over mahindi chemsha when it’s raining cats, dogs and not a few warthogs and there is a police msako over those who attended the ‘swearing in’ at Uhuru Park. Here are 10 pregnancy cravings that can drive men up the wall of China…
A family size toothpaste might last until Easter, but when a woman starts walking she wants to capsize backwards she starts eating toothpaste with the alacrity of a miraa addict on twigs and you have to restock on weekly basis.
When you see a chalk the next thing that comes to mind are books, chalkboard and a teacher but when a pegged woman on her second trimester sees white cheese from Tigoni and very rich in iron!
Forget ice cream, some pegged women whose noses are slowly resembling door knobs in a bullet factory, will prefer ice cubes. They see to it that fridge haipumui as ice cubes are no longer for brandies or whiskies, but a hot day’s snack.
4. Laundry water
We are not joking. Some pegged women find it very healthy sucking water out of freshly washed clothes, towel and socks. Next time you see one with her mouth open at the clothes lines, wonder no more!
5. Used matchsticks
The dark end of a lit match stick has a bitter wooden taste to it which kids love. Well, while some women find it sporty chewing those, others go a step further with unlit matchsticks. So, if you are a smoker with a pegged wife, just buy a re-filler lighter!
Cravings for sponge is such that a husband might come home and find the mattress is halfway chewed. The better part of this craving is that the chewing could be from underneath! And how many men turn over godoros anyway?
7. School rubber
Some mother’s to be love the smell of rubber which they suck or bite at. So, if you’re replacing your kid’s school rubber with alarming frequency, blame it on the bulge of your long-suffering wife lying like an over fed grasshopper on the sofa.
8. Cigarette ash
Puffing at cancer sticks is not allowed near a pegged woman to avoid secondhand smoking, but what if your woman has craving for cigarettes ash? Some lick at the ashtrays they confiscated last Easter.
9. Tissue paper/books
Women pray hard that the childhood behavior of chewing papers in school does haunt them when pregnant, but it does and goes all the way to chewing tissue paper in the toilet! So, keep away magazines, inspirational book and restock on tissue.
Detergents come in different colours, scents and forms; just avoid buying the liquid ones because the paged have been known to turn them into lunchtime juice instead of cleaning laundry. Because of their fruity scents and inviting colours they are the most abused house hold item by pegged mothers before they taga in the Screaming Room.