Photo: courtesy

By Brian Okoth (@brianokoth2)

The feeling of jealousy when in a relationship is unavoidable. They say, a jealous man or woman is a faithful partner. True. It is a natural emotion that can be very difficult to control. Many a times, we get jealous over very petty issues, but in some instances, our partners trigger our jealousy.

When that happens brother, feel guilty not about making known what you feel. Take your honey bunny to a not-so-public place, and open up. Admit that she’s hurt you.

But first remember the golden rule of jealousy: have a reason for it! Speak out brother before the jealousy erodes your peace. Here are the only times you are allowed to be jealous; anything outside, no no no!

When she flirts with other men
There’s no amount of quailing that can pacify a man who feels cheated on by the wife. Take this-you suspect your partner’s unfaithfulness. One day you’re in the house chilling with her, and she happens to leave her phone with you; perhaps gone to take a shower; feel free, there’s nothing like ‘a woman’s phone is private’, go ahead and scroll those messages.

If you come across one like: ‘Baby, I love your muscles, and can’t stop thinking of how they hold me so tight’, and it is on the sent items category, not your telephone number, and you are not well-built; brother, what are you waiting for; jealousy asap! Remember to take a few deep breaths to release your anger first lest you explode.

When you learn important things about her from other people
They say secrecy is the first name of any woman. However, no man would want to subscribe to this philosophy. We need to know our women a hundred and one percent. When you learn from her friend or work colleague that she is planning to buy a home in Hurlingham, and none of those facts have reached your desk, fume brother fume! But remember to be civilized about it. Benefit of doubt - she could have forgotten.

When you come second to her job or hobby
We have admitted; we live in a world where almost every woman is empowered. We find the career women hot and cold at the same time; attractive but intimidating. Some ladies just take the career thing too far! She’s hardly there for you, and she’s hardly there with you! Reason; job. Even Michelle Obama is USA’s first lady, but she finds time for family. Brother if your Njoki, Akinyi or Mwende has no time for you but her papers-one of you has to substitute the other. Take that no more.

When she's richer than you
Not every man gets a woman whom he earns more income than. When she’s rich and her scent is all money, be happy. It’s okay to feel a little bit jealous that you can’t afford to buy that sleek phone that captures panoramic pictures, and takes the clearest selfies. Remember, she loves you for who you are and not for what you can give in your best volume. If she’s accommodative of your wardrobe, you are good to go.

When she spends more time with her ‘ninja girls’ than you
If she spends more time with her girlfriends than with you, let her know that you are so hollow. As Davido and Diamond say, you should be her ‘number one’ both original and remix; nothing less.

Brother, jealousy isn’t at all times bad. It shows you are human. Sometimes it helps you improve your relationship. Don’t be  jealous at everything though.

Wish you well in your relationship.