Meet your wife’s security needs and thrive!

Why should you suffocate when you can thrive in your relationship? Relationships have the potential for so much pain, baggage, conflict and resentment.

It is possible to enjoy the union and avoid frustration and conflict as you live the life that God intended when He ordained the institution of marriage.

Not understanding the importance of meeting your wife’s needs could cause some turbulence in your marriage, so much so that you find it difficult to believe that marriage was intended for pleasure.

Take for instance Mary, who, in expressing her frustration said: “My husband does not care about me at all. He does not care to communicate, neither does he show any form of concern.

“His only need for me is convenience and sex which is not pleasurable since it’s always about him. I have had it! I cannot continue living this way anymore!”

Mary speaks for many in the same predicament. In trying to unpack Mary’s understanding of care, it became apparent to me that care is Mary’s definition of her husband going the extra mile, of ensuring her security, satisfaction and happiness.

How marvelous is it for you to understand the needs of your wife so that you can try to meet them. According to the husband, James, he provides sufficiently for her and the children. “I do everything for my wife, yet she says he is not happy.”

Guys allow me to unpack this one for you and, hopefully, you might catch a glimpse of it and begin a journey that will transform your relationships for the better.

First of all, the purpose of marriage is mutual pleasure and enjoyment and procreating a Godly offspring.

Married couples ought to attain the highest level of satisfaction and fulfillment in their relational needs. Therefore, when this is not the case, it is obvious that the individuals are missing out on what matters most.

“What do women want?” James asked. My answer? A woman’s greatest need is for her man to provide physical and emotional security.

She needs a man who is sensitive to her needs in a sacrificial manner. The Bible describes this husband in Ephesians 5:25. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Willing to love and sacrifice for your wife? This simply means that you need to meet her needs before your own, in every way.

“But how do I know her needs when she does not even make them clear,” James asked. I would simply say, be dedicated to serving your wife by being true to yourself, honour her, affirm her, acknowledge her importance, honour the matrimonial bed, ensure you meet her needs by understanding her better, ask questions and request for feedback.

To meet her security needs is not financial provision, it is giving up a hobby, an interest a friend, and spending time with her, from time to time. It is ensuring that she feels valued, cared for and appreciated — the number one in your life.

It is not easy to be selfless and to focus on someone else’s needs. It takes time and effort. Practice makes perfect and you can do it. Remember she feels insecure when it’s all about you, your feelings, your needs, desires and wants.

When you show her some sacrificial love, she has no choice but to reciprocate in overflowing measure of love, admiration and respect. After all, she knows that there is no competition, she is the most important person in your life and will be willing to go the extra mile to make you happy.

When your wife is secure, she will give you the space you need to work on your projects, to nurture other relationships, to grow as an individual and whatever you do is received with understanding because she is content.

Want to live a life that is fruitful? Begin with meeting your wife’s needs. This is not a weakness and it will be your greatest strength.