Do I give my cheating husband another chance or run like hell?

Do I give my cheating husband another chance or run like hell?

The girls he was in touch with didn’t look any prettier, thinner or remotely more attractive than me and a couple were 10 years older than I am

Dear Coleen

My husband slept with a girl he met via personal ads 18 months ago.

Since then, we’ve had our ups and downs. Then two months ago I found out he’d started contacting five different women – again through personal ads.

He insists he never met up with any of them and he only did it for the thrill of it. I don’t know if I believe him though.

The girls he was in touch with didn’t look any prettier, thinner or remotely more attractive than me and a couple were 10 years older than I am.

At least now I don’t feel ugly and humiliated like I did last time.

My question is, why is he doing this again? We were having lots of sex, although I was usually the one to initiate it.

On a few occasions he even turned me down, coming up with rubbish excuses.

On our anniversary weekend he called three different girls and there were at least 20 messages on his phone from them.

That night he left me at 1am after we had sex and I saw from the call log on his phone that he’d called one girl five minutes after leaving my house.

Of course he says he is sorry! He also says it’s opened his eyes to what he really wants – probably because I dumped him this time.

He knows I’m done playing games. He wants me to believe in him and, as a result, he lets me see all his emails, phone records – everything.

He also wants to go to therapy – anything that will help. Do I make an effort or run like hell?

Coleen says

It’s good to hear that he’s willing to do anything to make it up to you and get the relationship back on track.

He’s willing to go to counselling, not just saying he’s sorry and won’t do it again, so get over it.

He seems to be putting the effort in so, if you feel you’re still in love with him and the relationship has a future, then maybe it’s worth trying.

But, and it’s a big but, he needs to understand this is the last- chance. If you find out he’s up to it again, then he’s on his bike.

And you have to mean it. Also, once things get cozy again, don’t let him wriggle out of all the promises he’s made.

The other thing is, you might have couples counselling and realize that your feelings have changed and you’ll want to run like hell!

Often, people make the decision to dump someone because they don’t want to look stupid in front of others, but it’s your life and the decision has to be based 100% on what you want.

Even if you give it six months of trying, at least you can walk away knowing you tried without worrying “what if?”