OPINION: You do not have to marry from your tribe to be happy

By Eva Nganga | Friday, Jun 19th 2020 at 16:39
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I notice this among my fellow Africans. We have to stop these self-imposed and societal pressures that a Black person is the only fit for a spouse.

Some great aunts and uncles will even only offer their blessing if you settle for someone from the same village, let alone tribe! I speak for Asians as well, whose culture similarly adheres to the traditional rules of marriage in choosing a life partner.

I feel the need to mention that we all have a natural inclination (a type) toward our ideal man or woman, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not.

Life experiences, upbringing, circumstances, etc. create the environment for this to change over the course of time. Allow yourself the chance to challenge or reaffirm affinity to this type by welcoming contrasts and similarities that other foreign customs have to offer.

You'll truly never know what else lies out there without. What have you got to lose?

People, let us broaden our parameters on personal connection.

You may miss out on an incredible Jewish Jamaican from Japan (if you're lucky) who will treat you right while you are busy searching for Mr/Miss Right from the tremendous landscapes of Mt. Kilimanjaro, just to appease your forefathers' kin.

Don't get me wrong. Many have had successful relationships from marrying soulmates of their nationality/ethnic background, that have stood the test of time no less, irrefutable proof that it can happen - and does happen.

What I am saying is, do not cheat yourself out of a potentially life-altering experience 'just to keep the heritage within the family.' Your happiness lies in your hands, nobody else's.

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