Lessons you can learn from the World Cup

By Njoki Kaigai | Sunday, Jul 15th 2018 at 00:00
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Serbia fan holds up a photo of Russian president Vladimir Putin before the match between Serbia and Switzerland in Kaliningrad Stadium, Russia on June 22, 2018. [Reuters]

Today, the whole world will literally come to a standstill to watch the World Cup final. I am usually not a huge football fan, I often find the obsession with the EPL sometimes annoying and suffocating.

Athletics and tennis do it for me - the body frames are much better to look at (Rudisha and Serena come to mind), their outfits are better, and the mental focus and training are out of this world (Eliud Kipchoge and Nadal come to mind).

Yet I love and live for the World Cup because it delivers not just football; it delivers drama, blood, sweat, toil and tears. Even with my rudimentary appreciation of football, I think the 2018 World Cup has been one of the best ever - nothing has gone as predicted - much to the chagrin of the bookies with the World Cup at times feeling like a thriller movie. Anyway, I believe there are several lessons that many of us can take and use in our lives - especially in our love lives.

Here are just but a few: - For starters, looks are everything. There are many times we should expend our energies on inner beauty and disregard the obsession with externalities - that is just plain hogwash. From the look of people and things, it is clear those who invest in their looks get more eyeball views and sometimes even get more attention than those who score the goals.

If in doubt, just think of the Croatian President - some may not know her name, or the full line up of her team, but many know of her looks and of her show-stopping thorax (I wonder if it would test positive for silicone) and her very well-structured derriere.

Inroads in life

One only needs to look at Harry Kane’s gel laden coiffure, Neymar with his blonde highlights, Gareth Southgate and his waistcoat and Aliou Cisse and his sharp suits. So, if nature grants you some less than average looks, then invest in a good wardrobe, good hairstyle and if you have enough cash, invest in a good plastic surgeon - looks will help you make serious inroads in life.

Some people are all but hype. Coming into the World Cup, there was a lot of hype about certain teams and certain players.

Even the football rookies had a good understanding that Germany was the team to beat, that Neymar and Messi would render us blind with their goals with others telling us that the gods had ordained that the World Cup must head to the Americas. Despite all this hype, great players went home with dismal performances as the greats were slayed by minions. This kind of reminds me of some folks (especially men) who are notorious for spreading tales about their greatness.

There are men who like to spread the gospel of their greatness - their massive jobs, their huge earnings and in many cases, they also include fables about certain parts of their anatomies. Things usually end up in disaster when it comes to crucial performances, with many landing zero balls in the goal of pleasure, provision and satisfaction.

So sometimes it is better to stay quiet and let your actions do all the talking. It is important to note that often good things come in small and unexpected packages - like South Korea and Japan.

Tears, drama and hysterics are not always sexy. Some new age thinkers have been telling us that men need to get in touch with their female (sensitive) side.

They tell us that real men do not shy away from showing their teary emotions in public. These new age thinkers should realise that teary men do not look good and do not inspire confidence. Men are allowed to cry at serious things like losing a loved one, but there is something about a grown man wailing his head off over the fact that a round piece of leather did not make the right trajectory motion into a massive sieve (aka the goal).

There is also something unattractive about the man who seems to demand that the world should come to a serious halt just because someone has tripped him - yet that is what football demands. Real men must know when to suck it up, and when to be teary and dramatic - somehow crying over football does not create sex appeal.

Dansez Dansez. They might say that music is the language of love, but I think that dancing is the language of sensuality. Many women will tell you that nothing speaks sex appeal like a man who can dance (especially if he has a wallet to match). That is why many women will be rooting for France to win this World Cup.

They will not be rooting for France because most of the players look like finely chiselled dark mahogany, not because most of them speak with the cutest French accent and not because they look so good in bespoke suits.

Many women will be rooting for them because these boys can dance - based on the video that went viral showing even Pogba shaking his finely chiselled abs to a Wenge Song. If you want to woo the women, then learn how to dance. For now, may the team with the best looking, drama free men win.

njokikaigai1@ gmail.com



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