Why your man is afraid of your ex

There is nothing as alien in Kenya as seeing ex-lovers relating amicably. We are all used to scenes of lovers fighting post-love. Our amorous relationships always end bitterly with partners hurling insults at each other and revealing secrets that were previously well-guarded.

The African man has never known how to deal with divorce because irrevocable separation had no place in Africa. The bond between a man and a woman could never be completely severed especially when there were children involved.

It is perhaps for these very reasons that we find it hard to believe that two people can end a relationship and still be friends with no strings attached.

Out of Africa, ex-couples can meet for dinner with new lovers in tow. A woman can leave her current husband and ex-partner at home with no fear of bloodshed. But we try to completely avoid such scenarios back home.

There is something still untamed in the African man and until that is dealt with, we will focus on keeping the two bulls away from each other.

With their high levels of jealousy, it is even hard to make them understand that you are on talking terms with your ex and you can meet him without allowing him to read your katiba.

They firmly believe that ‘wazee hukumbuka’ and any suspicion that you are still on talking terms with an ex-lover will send them scampering away.

You see the contemporary Kenyan male is fixated with male personalities. They are all aware that the alpha male and his fearless and dominating qualities.

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Any man pursuing a single mother believes her ex is alpha if she is still in communication with him. They believe that the woman is only using them if she can still call her ex and talk to him without fighting.

They are happier when we are in constant fights with our exes because they automatically become heroes in our lives – the knights who saved us from toxic relationships.

It is for this reason that women fail to divulge all information about their exes. We only speak about our first love and the last one who broke our hearts.