I am going to college soon, and of course, I am hugely excited and looking forward to making loads of new friends. But I have a boyfriend already, so I am worried about how that will work out. Can I make new friends and still say close to my Form Four sweetheart back home?
Boyfriend Back Home
Hi, Boyfriend Back Home!
I do understand you want to stay close to your boyfriend from school. But in college everyone gradually becomes a different person, and old relationships rarely survive the transition.
So you and your sweetheart are pretty well sure to break up eventually. Sooner or later you will start resenting each other for forming new friends, and for not understanding what it is like at college or back at home. Above all, sticking too long with your old sweetheart means you are missing out on important experiences, like the opportunity to try out new relationships.
The same thing will happen again as you leave college in a few years. Only a few student relationships survive the transition into the world of work, for much the same reason: you change as you start your career. This means it is unlikely you will marry a college sweetheart either!
- Why you need to teach your child independence
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- How to cope when children leave the nest
And anyway you are not going to marry anytime soon. So even though you want to be in a relationship, just do not go kidding yourself that it is going to be permanent. Enjoy each other’s company, and do not imagine you heading for the altar.
Because college is a glorious opportunity to learn all the skills of dating. Learn the flirting game, how to have fun together and how to find out whether someone shares your interests and values.
Learn all about what that first kiss means, how to become affectionate and emotionally close to a partner, and how to tell whether they are going to be faithful to you. College is a great place to learn all the skills you will need later when you are ready to get married. So make the most of every crazy minute, alongside all your other studies.
All the best,