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Make your love affair work in the New Year

Relationships
 "Getting to know one another reduces the risks of cheating," Chris Hart says [Freepik]

Hi Chris,

Over the past few years, I have had a few boyfriends who have cheated on me, so as a sort of New Year’s Resolution I have decided to avoid men who do that. But can you tell whether someone might cheat before they do?

No More Cheats

Hi, No More Cheats!

Yes, you can tell, because there are ‘risk factors,’ which predict how likely it is that a particular man will stray.

Physical appearance and intelligence for example. Attractive, charming and educated men cheat more. So do men who are adventurous and comfortable with danger and uncertainty, attitudes which also lead to status and success. So the rich and successful are more likely to cheat than those who are not.

Very masculine-looking men tend to cheat more, as do those with a higher sex drive. They are more easily aroused, more likely to cheat and crave the novelty and excitement of multiple partners. 

Some people see love as a game of manipulation and power. Spot them by their more distant and calculating attitude towards you.

You can also reduce the risks once you are in a relationship.

For example by spending a lot of time together. Couples who lead separate social lives, or whose careers keep them apart, are much more likely to cheat.

Getting to know one another reduces the risks. A whirlwind romance usually means disaster.

People cheat more if they feel misunderstood or unappreciated. So be consistently supportive and affectionate. Anger makes infidelity much more likely, and even a little negativity can cause huge problems.

Accepting your boyfriend for who he is rather than trying to change him reduces the risks. Sharing your feelings, and telling him that you love him and that you will always be there reduces the risks a lot! Partners who frequently reassure one another of their love and commitment rarely stray. 

So choose your boyfriends carefully, and pay attention to the risk factors once you are together. It is not your fault if a boyfriend strays, but there is a lot you can do to prevent it.

All the best,

Chris

 

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