Dating: Where are all the nice men?

Hi Chris,

I have a pretty good social life, and meet a lot of new people. And on the whole they’re all really nice. Including the men! But somehow, whenever I start seriously dating someone new, he turns out to be no good. What’s going wrong? It doesn’t seem fair that I always end up with the bad guys.

So what should I do to improve my luck in future?

Bad Guy

Hi Bad Guys!

It’s got nothing to do with luck, you’re choosing them! You go for the most exciting guys; I imagine? Unfortunately, they’re also the ones who often turn out badly. Which means you need to be watching for anything that suggests that a guy might be a risky choice. However attractive he seems when you first meet.

So if a guy seems flakey, he is flakey. Because if he’s always checking out other women, or his phone’s full of messages from girls, then it’s most unlikely he’ll ever be faithful.

A guy like that will tell you whatever you want to hear. He lives for a new conquest, and will never be truly yours.

If you start noticing that he’s hard to find, he’s probably always going to be like that. Whereas a guy who’s sincerely into you will always be there.

Dump any guy you catch lying, or if you never meet any of his friends. That’s probably because most of them are women.

If he’s weird whenever you call it’s probably because he’s with another woman. And if he’s endlessly messaging when you’re together, or leaving the room to take calls, then that’s almost certainly her chasing him.

Other red flags are if he never really listens to what you say. Or is obsessed with his looks. Or is always getting angry and blaming you for everything. Or is moody, difficult to please, puts you down or calls you names. Drinks heavily, cheats on you, or is in any way violent. Doesn’t seem interested in you except for food or sex. Speaks badly of other women in his life. Accuses you of cheating on him and checks up on you far too often. Gets upset when you’re with your friends or family. Is impatient with children.

And avoid a married man like the plague! He’ll make you feel you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, you’ll believe everything he says, imagine a future together, and more than likely fall completely in love. But he’ll never leave his wife.

So in future think twice about dating the most ‘exciting’ man in the room. And keep your wits about you!

All the best,

Chris