I find salvation to be boring

I am engaged to a wonderful guy and we are planning to wed mid next year. We are both saved and he is committed to church. For me, I find it boring and not my thing. I am not sure if this is the kind of life I want to live. I love him, we are serious about marriage but I find salvation to be boring. I stopped drinking when I got saved but I miss my old life. However, I think he would not want to marry me if he knew that I was not comfortable with salvation. 

{Jennifer}

Your take

You should note that the guy is simply wonderful because he is saved. It sounds like you have not fully embraced salvation and that’s why you miss your past life of drinking and all. It is pretty clear that your marriage won’t work. You should fervently seek God and you will have all the happiness you desire. You have given satan authority over your mind.

{David Karengo, Bondo-Usenge}

Sorry for your predicament. You are the first person I have heard complaining about salvation in a marriage that is yet to take place. The fact is that you are pretending to be saved. The choice to follow Jesus is individual and with Him, many things in marriage are bound to be smooth. Rethink your view of salvation and do not waste this man’s time. If you are not ready to marry him, let him know early so that he can find himself someone else. You need spiritual and marriage counselling.

{Ouma Ragumo-Sifuyo School}     

You forced yourself into salvation to have this guy marry you and that is why you find it boring. Salvation is all about your heart and relationship with God. It is up to you to decide whether or not to get married to this God-fearing guy.

{Pastor Ben Shikuku, Bungoma County}

Marriage is lifelong and part of its objectives is to give you the happiness that only marriage can provide. Though I am not sure of the happiness there could be in a non-Christian life, I urge you to continue with your Christian faith but be honest with yourself and look for a marriage that will make you happy. Your man must know that you are not happy.

{Tasma Charles}

You need to change your attitude to make your planned marriage a success. A God-fearing family is a fundamental basis for a fruitful and fulfilling marriage. Do not let the devil take you back to your old ways, which only lead to sin. Talk to your pastor for guidance.

{Oyoo Wycklife, Annex}

You say you are saved but still miss your old drinking days? You are pretending. Take time and make a conclusive decision. End this engagement since it would not materialise if he finds out that you are not comfortable with salvation. Obedience is better than sacrifice. {Ojou Robert, Koyonzo}

There is difference between imitating and being yourself. Why should you pretend and end up divorcing? It is better to discuss it with him and find a mutual ground; otherwise, both of you will suffer.

{Onyango Outha Jauduny}

Count yourself lucky to have found a saved man. If you are already in Canaan, why do you want to go back to Egypt? Forget your old ways and enjoy a happy Christian marriage.

{Elvis Ogola, Seku}

Counsellor’s take

Jennifer, marriage is a lifetime commitment that requires both parties to be open and honest with each other from the very start. If salvation is not your thing then you had better make this known to him immediately. It would be wrong for him to realise that you are still stuck in your old ways when you are already married.

It is mandatory that you tell him your concerns before the wedding so that he can make an informed decision.

I have a strong feeling that you were not quite ready for salvation.

You need time and space to live your life before finally settling down. Be open with him and be ready to accept reality if he chooses to end the relationship.

However, be informed that you might be sacrificing a long-term commitment for the short-term pleasures so think carefully.

I know he would prefer a wife who shares and practices the doctrines of his religion but you know him much better.

(Taurus)

In the next issue:

My wife is Kikuyu and I am Kisii. We have been married for ten years now and I am now under pressure from my relatives to take up a Kisii wife based on cultural practices that require a Kisii man who marries a woman from another tribe to marry a Kisii woman at some point in his life. I feel that it may be time for me to marry another woman but I don’t know how to approach my wife who is usually extremely jealous and overprotective about me.

{Nyamae}

Dear readers, this column appreciates that no one has all the right answers and, therefore, seeks to get your feedback on the issues raised for discussion. next week, we will publish your comments and advice. kindly send them to: [email protected]

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