What your child wants you to know to make him/her feel safe

The world is full of uncertainty and anxiety. And every day we’re all exposed to experiences that can affect our lives and make us feel unsafe.

While both adults and children can suffer from depression and anxiety, kids are more vulnerable because they might not even realize what they’re feeling and how to go about it.

As a parent, you can take certain measures to help your children feel safer and secure. These are some of the things they probably need you to know to do that

i.They want acceptance

Your children will hide who they are from you when they don’t feel accepted. This will also breed a lot of resentment and mental health problems when they aren’t too sure if you will accept their real selves.

A parent who is more open minded and accommodative of their child’s mistakes will ensure they feel loved. Even when other people bash them and put them down, they won’t take it personally.

ii.They want you to value their opinions

Children are usually smarter than we think. They’re able to view situations from different angles and give sound advice even though they don’t have much experience in life.

When you listen to them and take their opinions seriously, they’re more likely to develop real self-confidence. That’s because you’ll have trained them to value their own opinions and not to have a defeatist attitude.

iii.They want you to reassure them

Reassuring them during uncertain times doesn’t mean that you have all the answers or that you know exactly what the future holds.

It just means that you’re encouraging a more optimistic attitude which will even help them overcome in case things don’t go so well. Use reassuring words more often because they will shape their overall outlook on life.

iv.They want your affection

Everybody needs affection from their parents. Even your son’s need hugs because it helps them feel secure and cared for. Your affection will show them that it’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes and that they don’t have to put up walls of fake confidence when they don’t feel okay.

That association of vulnerability and weakness will be broken and this will actually do a lot in breaking the trends of suicide.

v.They want you to teach them boundaries

So many people have a hard time standing up for themselves and saying ‘no.’ When you don’t reinforce the importance of boundaries at home, they won’t understand how to have them when dealing with other people.

In a way, they’ll feel likely they need to always go out of their way to make others happy even if it means compromising their own values. Encourage boundaries at home and help them understand why they’re important.

vi.They need your attention

A parent’s attention can never be replaced. When they don’t get that attention from you, they’ll seek it elsewhere and unfortunately it almost always comes from the wrong places.

Kids are expecting you to be keener with them so that you notice when they’re okay and when they’re not doing so well. If you’re constantly distracted, they’ll feel unsafe and ignored.