I am a male student attending college and I think that one of my female professors has feelings for me. She has asked me to keep in touch with her when the semester is over and has sent other signs that she is interested. However, she has also showed signs that she is not. For instance, I have all A’s in her class but she brags about the work of other students in front of the class and never mine. And the other day she cancelled an appointment to give me extra help due to an off-campus appointment, but then she provided extra help to another student instead. What should I do?
Sister X: Learn from Mombasa governor who accepted his D- and moved on
Lad you are in a world of mixed feelings as you cannot even gather whether the prof loves you or not. Skip the feelings and learn from Mombasa governor who accepted his D- and moved on. You also talked of her cancelling an appointment to give you help; what for?
You see there is no need to get help when As are coming your way. The help was uncalled for because there is no other higher grade in learning than A. Let the other student get help because s/he rightfullyneeds it as you stay put waiting for the As, which you will fail to account for before an interview panel when your time for tarmackingcomes.
That she has exhibited signsthat she could after all not be very much interested in you isindicator that you will stand alone when that time of reckoningcomes. No professor wants a failure tagging him when defendinghalf-baked papers. Get your focus right stop imagining andconfusing your young brain on old women who have earnedtheir keep and make your future.
The Counsellor: Prioritise your head over your heart
I think your question is more an argument between your head and your heart. Your heart feels betrayed by a professor who is sending mixed signals while your head is clearly telling you that she has no feelings for you.
From your question one can also note that the Professor is not offering you any preferential treatment as she treats others the way she treats you. When it comes to matters of the heart, my advise is to prioritise your head over your heart. I am not in any way demeaning your feelings but it is kind of clear that you are on a path of self deception.
In addition even if your professor had feelings for you, there is no evidence anywhere that such relationships end in happily thereafter.
I am sure there are some beautiful girls in your class or college that would love to spend some good time with you. Let the Professor enrich your knowledge and get fed romantically elsewhere.
Comrade Y: Hold on to your boxers until she actually makes the first move
The fact that you actually made it to campus is not only mind-boggling, but astounding as well. You clearly are absent of any clue as to why you are there in the first place. I’m sure your parents or benefactors will be delighted to know that apart from pursuing higher education, you are also in the chase for illicit love. This is asinine at best.
Your lecturer is a grown woman and she would have been very direct in her pursuits. Believe me, there’s no grey area when it comes to such women.
Mr Cavill’s doppelganger wannabe, almost every lecturer asks their students to keep in touch. Maybe the reason she asked you in particular is because she spotted under-utilised and wasting potential and she wanted to reignite it. Please don’t read too much into it.
Kindly familiarise yourself with those papery objects called books in that building they call a library, or the whizzing sound you’ll hear will be your mother’s saucepan flying with laser-like precision towards your empty head.