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I had sex with my husband's best friend


On the eve of our wedding, I had sexual intercourse with my husband’s best friend who was also his best man. I was intoxicated at the time and only realised what I had done when it was all over. Nobody else knows about this but every day I feel so bad because my husband helps him a lot including lending him money often, and even helping him secure a well-paying job. I am now married, yet he is still hitting on me and wants to continue with that. What do I do?


Honestly, the man should be remorseful and praying hard for the truth not to come out. Choices have consequences. If you choose to tolerate him, your family will break. It’s you to choose what you can live with.

{Dr John Keng’abi}

Intoxication is never an excuse. Sleeping with your fiancé’s best friend is not something you do just like that. He is someone you see frequently, so it’s probably planned. That said, do that man a favour and wait for the consequences; that’s what all choices have. The truth has a way of setting you free.

{Muchiri Chege}

You indeed need help and lots of advice. How do you boldly and openly do that? Your husband should divorce you immediately and get a faithful wife. How I wish your man would read this. Come clean and tell him the truth; otherwise, you will not have any peace and your ‘boyfriend’ might start blackmailing you for sexual favours. It is only the truth that will set you free.

 {Ouma Ragumo-Sifuyo}

It was a mistake and a sin that I cannot imagine anyone wanting to go back to. If the man continues pushing you, let him know you are going to tell your husband. Do not look back unless you want to wreck your marriage.  If you continue, your husband will find out and it will be a disaster to both families.

{Tasma Charles}

That is madness! You need a HIV test and counselling. For you to do such a sin, it means you have loose morals. Imagine your husband doing the same with your best maid. There was no point of a wedding after what you did because weddings are reserved for virgins. You broke one of the marriage vows just before your wedding. Respect yourself before others respects you.

{Onyango Outha}

The mistake started with you and it is upon you to correct it. Be clear with the best man that you no longer want to see him. If he insists, you will have to inform your husband so that you clear your conscience and concentrate on your marriage.

{Oyoo Wycklife}

That is water under the bridge Lillian; there is nothing you can do about it now. Considering the close friendship this man has with your husband, it is in everyone’s best interest for that matter to remain buried and forgotten. You are just as guilty as he is, and nothing good can come from opening that skeleton closet.

 Nonetheless, I am inclined to think that you don’t really mind that he is still hitting on you. If you entertain this situation, you will get caught. And when (not if), that happens, you will find yourself on the losing end.

If you stop entertaining that man and his unbecoming behaviour, you will be more at peace with yourself. Think of the potential damage this can cause, especially to your husband.

Quit while you are still ahead or else...


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