When sour love bites back with nude pictures

About two years ago sex tape of DJ Crème and a woman who was not his wife had tongues wagging for days on end. Social media swiftly became his judge and jury, and in the end, his reputation was burnt on the stake.

The question on everyone’s mind, apart from bedroom gymnastic queries, was why a married man would make an incriminating tape with the woman he is cheating with?

It’s like committing a crime and making a tape of yourself in the act! It was therefore some relief, albeit very little, when it emerged that the clip was recorded before the DJ was a married man.

LIBERAL EXHIBITIONISTS

However, this obsession with sex tapes and nude pictures does not only apply to this trend. Kenyans these days have come of age ‘sexually,’ and we are now apparently liberals and exhibitionists when it comes to all things sex.

It is not just about posting pictures on social media when we eat out at the latest ‘it’ restaurant, or fly for the first time, or pose in our underwear; the social media generation is a generation that loves to exhibit anything and everything.

It is very okay to be liberal and adventurous in the bedroom, but in the real world where love is steaming hot today and freezing cold tomorrow, sending nude pictures or making a sex tape is not a good idea.

And before you throw stones and label me a prude, let me make it clear that I am simply a realist. In fact, I believe that the only place where sending nude pictures or making sex tapes is a brilliant idea, is in utopia or never, never land - a world where rabbits talk, people fly and everyone is nice, kind, respectful and love is always ‘happily ever-after.’

However, in the real world, nude pictures and sex tapes have a way of rearing their ugly heads and biting in the butt. There are so many reasons why documenting one’s sex life is a bad idea, unless of course you are Kim Kardashian and able to build a million-dollar empire riding on that. Most people are not that lucky.

First, social media is a double edged sword. It has made communication easier and convenient, but it can also eat you alive, just ask Bro Ocholla. It is way too easy to forward a photo to anyone and everyone using social media or text messaging. I know that everyone thinks the relationship they are in is going to last ‘forever,’ but the harsh truth is that most relationships end, and when they do, it is never a pretty sight.

Things can get nasty very quickly. If your ex gets angry enough, those nude pics you sent him or her two years ago could do some real damage to your reputation. You don’t want all your friends, your boss, his friends, his mother or the general public seeing you naked.

Second, there is the issue of longevity. Once a photo is put online, you cannot control how long it will be there. You have no control in the digital realm.

Third, phones get lost or stolen all the time. You don’t want someone to pick up your phone and see that tape. Just because your boyfriend or girlfriend will not spread it around doesn’t mean that people who see it will be kind.

Overall, it’s easy to say use common sense. But if common sense was really that common, everyone would  be wise. Now, I know some people love to live dangerously and will continue to take the risk, so if you insist on sending naughty pictures or documenting your sex life, perhaps you should consider obscuring your face or better yet, draw up a contract.