I've only been married a year and I'm cheating already

Dear Coleen

I married my long-term lover not even a year ago and I’m already faltering.

My husband and I both fought hard for our relationship and now I’m spoiling it all.

I feel I need to work out what it is I really want before I break my husband’s heart.

What’s going on with me and how can I sort out this mess?

Coleen says

I’ve heard of this scenario so many times – long-term lovers finally tie the knot and then it quickly implodes.

My friend was with her partner for 13 years before they got married – and in less than a year they were divorced.

I think for some couples in long-term relationships there’s obviously a reason they don’t commit to marriage.

Then when they do get hitched, it’s like a lightbulb going off and they realise they no longer want to be with that person.

I think other people panic and think, “Is this it now?” Maybe you got married because you felt you should or were expected to.

I think deep down you do know what you want and it’s not this – you’ve had an affair in the first year.

If that is the case, you need to own up and admit that getting married was a mistake. Yes, you’ll break his heart, but it’ll be worse if he finds out about your affair.