The art of intimate expression between partners

An ordinary act that you find enjoyable can transform into a form of sexual expression, be it speaking, laughing, or even gazing. According to the Sexual Health Centre, sexual expression encompasses attraction, attitudes, beliefs, desires, behaviours, fantasies, thoughts and roles.

Sociologist Dr. Kiemo Karatu explains that the path to this begins with self-care, noting that being happy with yourself inherently improves self-image, which is at its core. From this foundation, you can then truly understand your sensual individuality and freedom.

Dr. Kiemo suggests that you can safely learn and explore varied expressions with your partner while leaving room for that exploration to evolve. "The human mind is exploratory; it likes adventure. Human beings abhor boredom; therefore, anything that adds spark is welcomed by many," he says.

Speaking of spark, you can express your sensual side through words or actions to impress your partner. Women might move to the rhythm of their desires by learning the choreography to Beyoncé’s ‘Naughty Girl,’ or you and your partner could both come up with dance steps to Tommy Flavour and Ali Kiba’s sensual anthem, ‘Huku.’ All in all, it takes a deliberate effort to enhance sexual experiences.

Other daily habits include speaking about your wants with a certain tone, dressing in ways that make you feel sensual, being playful, admiring your physique in the mirror, flirting with your partner, reading erotic literature and releasing any guilt around intimacy.

Dr Kiemo explains that intimacy is born out of sexual attraction. However, it can reach a point where it wears down, especially when life’s stressors pull partners away from its indulgence. Additionally, other reasons can prevent individuals from expressing their full sensual selves or cause them to feel completely detached from it.

Past trauma can also affect sexual expressions in present relationships, Dr Kiemo says. In other instances, he adds that a person might hold back sexually if their partner doesn’t take them seriously.

Yet, all is not lost. He affirms that partners can reclaim or redefine their sensual selves after a period of repression by consciously freeing themselves from past trauma and embracing sensual activities that they enjoy.

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"They can start awakening evolving desires through communication and interest in exploring new opportunities together," he says.

Fantasy also plays a role in self-discovery when communicated, as imagination differs from person to person.

"There has to be some convergence," he advises. "If one person says no to a particular style, the other can respect that while expressing their disappointment."