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Getting back into dating after being single for a long time

 Getting back into dating after being single for a long time (Photo: iStock)

For whatever reason you chose to be on the single path, singlehood can actually be a great thing. You get to do what you want, come and go at your own whim, and you live your life the way you desire without having to check in with someone else.

Sounds like fun, right?

Well, that’s until the children start going off to college and you are left with an empty nest or Valentine comes around and you can’t stand the sight of love birds everywhere or better still, you’re super lonely and desire a connection with the right person.

You’re excited and at the same time terrified of what you will find out there.

And to be honest, you should be. The dating scene is ever-changing and what dating was in your younger days is much different now.

That however should not stop you from finding love and here is what you need to do to get yourself out there:

Have some patience

Time may feel like it is running out especially if you’re a young woman in her 30’s who would love to have children and settle down before you miss your biological clock.

However, for best results, it is advised that you should take your time, get to date one person exclusively and get to know them for several months first before making a decision whether or not they could be the one.

Jumping to commitment too soon may end just as fast as it started.

Do not ignore red flags

After being out of the game for a while, your enthusiasm to get back may blind you from seeing people for what they are which may cost you down the road.

As much as you want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt you should not do it at your own expense. Check how they treat people around you and when they tell you something negative about themselves, believe them.

Be open to possibilities

As aforementioned, you should know by now that the dating game has changed. As much as there is a certain type of man or woman you want to be in a relationship with, don’t be too rigid.

Instead of writing potential suitors completely off, how about giving them a chance to see how it goes? At the end of the day, you may be surprised at the turn of events.

Getting to know someone better may change your perspective and perception of them so give them a chance first.

Ask for what you’re looking for

Opening up and being authentic is the quickest way to create emotional intimacy. Let the other person know what you want and share your feelings both negative and positive.

By letting the other person know what your expectations are and what makes you happy and they are willing to do that for you then you may have found an ideal mate.

Don’t be afraid of speaking your mind in a kind and respectful way.

Have fun

Dating should be something you look forward to and should never feel like a task. Instead of using dating apps get to meet and connect with people physically while doing fun activities together.

This will create beautiful memories and you will be able to see them for who they are in different environments and situations.

Let your hair down and allow the little child in you to have some fun while discovering yourself and those you match.

Being too serious may be a turn-off to the other person. You will come off as boring, stifling and hard to please. And to be honest, no one wants to deal with that, especially for the rest of their lives.

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