I feel so mixed up. I love dating but always pick the wrong men. I want to get married, or do I? I am so confused! Why do I pick the men I do? And how can I tell when I am ready to marry?So Confused
Hi So Confused!
The reasons why you pick the men you do go back thousands of years! Like you instinctively feel drawn towards high-status men, who are hugely competitive and behave badly. And you still fall for the signs that a man will be useful in a fight. Like big pecs, which are only good for throwing punches!
And until recently most of us lived our whole lives in villages. So we knew pretty much everything there was to know about anyone of marriageable age in the neighbourhood. We knew their families, their bad habits, their attitudes and interests. So it was not hard to make the right choice.
Not any more! Nowadays we meet many more people but have to work harder to get to know them. We do not know their background or their family, so it is easier to make mistakes. So take your time dating, refine your social skills, and you will get better at spotting good men.
And how do you know if you are the marrying kind? Or better off single? You are the marrying kind if you do not like ending relationships, feel lonely after an argument, quickly make up after a fight, do not ever worry about the possibility of someone leaving you, are good at solving arguments through discussion; and do not mind being distracted by someone being friendly, even when you are busy.
You feel low unless you are in a serious relationship, and get angry when people do not show the commitment to relationships that you do.
- Why you are still single
- Help, I keep losing good guys
- Why do I fall in and out of love so easily?
- Dating: The psychological impact of benching
Not you? Then you prefer a single life. You are not ready to settle down yet. That is fine, it is okay to just have fun. And there are plenty of men who feel the same way to choose from. But be honest with yourself about your intentions, and do not take dating too seriously!
All the best,