How to give your man the sex talk without hurting his feelings
Between The Sheets
By Esther Muchene
4 months ago | 3 min read
Sex is a big part of every relationship. Of course, it’s not the only thing that will keep the spark alive but it is important to have a healthy sex life as a couple.
When it comes to addressing issues like dissatisfaction, that right there is a massive elephant in the room.
If you’re not happy with the way things are going, you need to handle the situation carefully way since the wrong move could be the beginning of the end for your romance.
At the same time, pretending like you’re not bothered about the problems you’re having isn’t a solution either.
A tough choice indeed, but you must find a way to let your partner know that he is not meeting your bedroom expectations.
If you happen to find yourself in this situation here is how you can go about it the wise way:
- Think about your words
Hearing from your partner that the sex isn’t great is a big confidence killer. The reason why this stings is because your partner is probably thinking he has been rocking your world only for you to crush his world.
Think about what you will tell them beforehand so that you don't the wrong message. Give yourself time to plan so that when you’re having that conversation, you know what to say.
- Start with the positives
Begin the conversation with something you appreciate about them. Let them know that you love them or remind them of some of the things they do in bed that you like.
Starting with the good news will keep them encouraged and more willing to make adjustments once they hear the bad news. If all they hear is negatives, it will trigger some defensiveness.
- Be kind
You have every right to communicate how you’re feeling to your partner. In fact, healthy couples show their love by expressing their points of view on different topics including sensitive ones like money and sex.
Communication is important but how you communicate is also something to consider.
You don’t have to tell them that they are horrible in bed or that you hate the sex because that could destroy their self-esteem.
Always be kind, especially when you’re having a conversation on sensitive topics.
- Be honest
Beating around the bush and avoiding the truth won’t give you the positive results you’re looking for. You should be kind and talk to your partner in a loving way but you shouldn’t go overboard to a point where the conversation stops feeling genuine.
Deep down when they hear your concerns, they will want to do better and satisfy you more. That is why you still need to handle this with honesty.
- Give them a chance to talk
Allow them to also give their perspective once you have said what you need to. You may be surprised to find out that you’re also slacking on your game and some work needs to be done.
Don’t take it the hard way and create a safe space where you can both express your needs and feelings surrounding sex.
This way, everyone’s needs will be met and your relationship will stand a better chance at surviving and thrive.
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