x Eve Woman Wellness Readers Lounge Leisure and Travel My Man Bridal Health Relationships Parenting About Us Digital News Videos Opinions Cartoons Education E-Paper Lifestyle & Entertainment Nairobian Entertainment Eve Woman Travelog TV Stations KTN Home KTN News BTV KTN Farmers TV Radio Stations Radio Maisha Spice FM Vybez Radio Enterprise BULK SMS E-Learning Digger Classified The Standard Group Corporate Contact Us Rate Card Vacancies DCX O.M Portal Corporate Email RMS
Login ×

Confessions: My husband is moody all the time and I'm miserable

Girl Talk - By Hilda Boke Mahare | January 11th 2021 at 09:05:00 GMT +0300
'My marriage is making me miserable to the point that I dread going home' (Courtesy)


My husband and I have been married for 13 years now but things have changed and are getting worse by the day. He is moody all the time and nothing I do is ever good enough for him.

In fact, he doesn’t see anything good about me. I try my best to be a good wife including spoiling him with the things he likes, but he has turned cold on me.

I think our marriage is dead but there is so much keeping us together including the children, a mortgage and we have the same friends.

This marriage is making me miserable to the point that I dread going home. We work just about the same hours but he complains about everything.

I am sad and lonely and don’t know if this is what I really deserve. I have done my best to be a good wife. Please advise me.

  • Mugure

What the readers say:

  2. 1. 'My husband pays me to take care of the house - I've made sh20 million in one year'
  3. 2. Confessions: I can't stand to be around my nine-year-old daughter - I avoid her at all costs
  4. 3. Man republic: Would you marry a woman who earns more?
  5. 4. Six reasons why you could still be single

It is possible you could not even be the source of the emotional backlash; you are just the weaker object onto which he is projecting his frustrations.

That’s why the more you try to please him, the more difficult he gets because you come out as a parody of the frustrations. To manage such emotions, be absent while present.

Do your part well, without necessarily going overboard and just stop there. Be present without getting into his emotions. If your work allows for a transfer so that you reduce the amount of contact time, exploit so that he begins to clearly see the gap created by your being away.

In that you will repair your emotional imbalance as you cleverly bring him into wanting to talk to you by complaining. When such a chance comes, politely make him know your emotions and the unfairness in his actions. Be patient and calm through all these.

  • Tasma Saka

Mugure, 13 years is indeed a long journey. Things haven’t reached a dead end. Time is a good healer. You have mentioned how hard you have strived to restore your marriage.

I am only left to wonder these things you consider a good wife does, activities you think through as spoiling him. Can you trace back where all these began? Can you remember where his mood swings started and how?

His mood swings may be from a factor within or outside. You may consider getting facts right from him. That duration approximates to children, one or more at least 13 years, this comes with heavy bills and a greater responsibility that could be weighing down his moods.

Have an open discussion with him and listen to him objectively otherwise it could be some other things that you could not be the reason.

  • Ouma Ragumo-Sifuyo

Boke says:

Yes Mugure, you deserve better than this.

You truly have a heart of gold, looking at all the effort you are putting in to hold your family together. This shows your commitment to this relationship.

However, it takes two to tango. This means no amount of one-sided intervention will save or solve the situation.

Your husband seems to be going through something. This may have nothing to do with you but himself, so do not even try to accuse yourself of anything. If you can, try to find out what could be happening at his place of work. While relationship issues affect women, men on the other hand are greatly affected by matters touching on their work.

Although I had mentioned that you do need not be guilty I still implore you to encourage him to speak out. You need to give him a listening ear. It should not surprise you that his unkind actions could be a cry for attention. Enough of doing this and doing that, start being. Be a companion to him.

There is a high likelihood that he could be going through midlife crisis and this is igniting excessive self-criticism. At this point, you could also see a counsellor who would competently rule out any mental health problems.

In case all this does not work then just know he is deliberately pushing you away for reasons best known to him. In such a situation, I will leave that for you to decide on your course of action.

  • Hilda Boke Mahare has a background in Counselling Psychology
Be The First To Comment

Top Stories

Ingredient of the week: Sparkling (carbonated) water
Food - By Wambui Kuria

'My husband pays me to take care of the house - I've made sh20 million in one year'
Lady Speak - By Mirror

Woman left penniless after being tricked out of Sh6 million by online dating lover
Girl Talk - By Mirror

Meghan Markle 'didn't know what she was in for' and was baffled by Australia tour crowds
Entertainment - By Mirror

Man's belly-lifting tip leaves pregnant woman in awe as it relieves painful pressure
Pregnancy - By Mirror

Anal coronavirus test swabs now compulsory for anyone arriving in China
Health - By Mirror

4 ways to break a soul tie
Relationships - By Jennifer Karina

Doris Murimi: Endometriosis experience inspired start of foundation helping women and girls
Health - By Njambi Mungai

7 Benefits of using eggs for facial treatment
Skin Care - By Naomi Mruttu

4 ways you can treat a vaginal itch at home
Health - By Wanja Mbuthia

Latest Stories

Six reasons why you could still be single
Girl Talk - By Lolita Bunde

Five secrets you shouldn’t tell your partner
Girl Talk - By Esther Muchene

Man asks woman for Sh3,800 refund when she rejects him after their third date
Girl Talk - By Mirror

Girl code: Single parents, just how do you date?
Girl Talk - By Beryl Wanga Itindi

Woman sends back "incredible" reply on Tinder after discovering man was married
Girl Talk - By Mirror

Five relationship red flags you shouldn’t ignore
Girl Talk - By Esther Muchene

Five ways you can keep your long distance relationship alive
Girl Talk - By Lolita Bunde

Six different types of relationships
Girl Talk - By Esther Muchene

Healthy relationship habits most people think are toxic
Girl Talk - By Esther Muchene

Girl code: Never dating for more than two years again
Girl Talk - By Beryl Wanga Itindi

Stay Ahead!

Access premium content only available
to our subscribers.

Or Login With Your Standard Account
Support independent journalism

Please enter your email address to continue

Support independent journalism
Create An Account
Support independent journalism
I have an account Log in
Reset Password
Support independent journalism
Log in