I don’t like men who are too accommodating. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t gravitate toward jerks who flake on me regularly and don’t respond to my texts and calls in a timely manner. I appreciate a thoughtful man who is interested in my day and asks about my feelings.
However, I can’t stand men who go overboard to please me. The unfortunate thing about this is that I seem to be a magnet for them. Women get a bad rap for not appreciating good guys, but that is not true. We appreciate a gentleman but we don’t respect pushovers. There is such a thing as being too nice, too considerate and too selfless. I once dated a guy who was hell bent on pleasing me. When I first met him I was ecstatic! I thought I had snagged a total gentleman.
He called me several times a day to ask how I was doing; he changed his schedule to hang out with me and had no problem dropping whatever he was doing to make time for me.
At first it was endearing. However, as time wore on his ‘niceness’ became overwhelming. His excessive interest in my life became exhausting. It was like his entire life revolved around me.What do you love about Kenya?
He neglected his interests and his friends and put all of his energy in our relationship. He complimented me unnecessarily until his compliments lost meaning. He was always eager to cater to my every whim and he never openly disagreed with me even if he was totally against something I suggested. We would watch whatever movies I wanted and ate out at restaurants I chose.
In time, it all became tiring and I broke things off. He went on a tirade about how women don’t appreciate nice guys. He said he had gone out of his way to make me happy and that I had repaid him by dumping him.
I told him there was a fine line between being nice and being a pushover and a doormat and he was definitely the latter. If you are trying to woo a woman, you don’t have to kiss the ground she walks on.
You don’t have to act like you are unfailingly interested in every little thing that goes on in her life. Compliment her only when your compliments are genuine.
Take it from me; bending over backwards to please her is not going to score you any points. Women are attracted to men who are thoughtful and nice but we are totally turned off by men who ignore themselves and go overboard in being nice.
We are not interested in men who will just go along with whatever we decide. A man who always ‘understands’ our point of view is boring. We want men who think for themselves.
Have your own opinions and don’t be afraid to speak them out even if we disagree. It is a huge red sign for her if you are more interested in her life than you are in your own. It screams insecurity.
Men who pride themselves on catering to a woman’s needs with no concern about their own are bad news. They don’t have self-respect. If a man has a clear sense of who he is and what he wants out of life, he wouldn’t be so eager to please.
Gentlemen, become a nice beast, a bad boy of sorts, talk tough but in a nice way and just be a proper man. Nice sissies are a turn off because they come off as weak, indecisive and annoying.