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I have heard rumours about my husband sleeping around with other women. Should I confront him?

Marriage Advice

The topic

I have been married since 2004 although we have not had our wedding. My husband is a good man but can also be a headache when he wants to be. He is also very successful in his career and loves us very much. However, two strange women from our estate have been giving me information that my husband is known for sleeping with women and girls within the estate. They give me horrific details of how he even does it right in the estate and some of those women are actually my close friends. I have never suspected him of such activities but now this is disturbing me to the point that I cannot stand seeing those women near me. Some of the stories are actually rather graphic but the women will not identify themselves. What can I do, please advice...


What the readers say

Linah, wake up! Those anonymous women are simply out to destroy your marriage. They are jealous of your 14 years stay in marriage and it pricks them to see you happy with a good man. They are destroyers of your destiny and if you break up with your man, they will toast to a job well done. Love your man more and he will keep off from the temptations of other women.

{Aseri Dick}

This seems like a movie and these women are just out to your blossoming marriage.  Do not try to take them seriously and let them parrot all they want. Keep your cool and hang on to your husband. If anything, just conduct your own investigations. You must be doing well in your marriage and that is what is annoying them so be who you are for the betterment of your marriage. Good luck!

{Ouma Ragumo}

Men don’t just decide to cheat in one day, it is usually a process which always starts somewhere. What you have is hearsay's and rumours which may be true or false. Discuss the problem in the safety and privacy of your home or during an outing. Tell him to put himself in your shoes. If he needs to feel loved, do all you can o love him back. Dealing with a husband who has a wandering eye is not easy, but it can be improved with love and respect.

{Onyango Outha}

Simon says

This is somewhat common and especially so within residential areas. There are always stories making the rounds about who is doing is what and with who and most of these are usually quite juicy especially for people who have nothing much to do with their time. The trouble with such issues is that there are always many different twists and versions of the stories that one cannot really tell if there is even a real version in the first place. You also never really know the intentions of the initiator of these stories.

I will be quick to point out that when it comes to grapevine, there is always some degree of truth in the stories. The degree may be minimal but there is always some element of truth. This is not to say that your husband is culpable but to say that you may need to investigate further and be on high alert. Be also informed that there are instances where such stories are entirely false especially where things may have been taken in the wrong context or where intentions may have been malicious

Generally, when the bearer of sensitive information prefers to remain anonymous then the authenticity of that information comes to question. Their motives and intentions also remain unclear i.e. what do they stand to gain should things hit the rocks for the two of you. Many people (especially those that are fond of maliciously spreading such rumours) usually think that details or incidences of infidelity will lead to divorce. This is generally very far from the truth and these women could be thinking along those lines.

This information may have some level of truth, so I encourage you to either ask them to reveal their identity so you can have more objective discussions about this or ask for concrete evidence. They seem to have almost first hand information so if they really want to help you out then they can offer more solid leads that may lead you to actually catching him. Otherwise, in my opinion, giving you such details and failing to assist you in catching him or to establish the truth beyond reasonable doubt, they are not helping you in any way. If they offer no further assistance for this situation then just flatly tell them off and close all communication with them. They do not mean well for you.

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