Signs you are a harsh parent

Children always strive to get their parents approval and when you are too strict, children will either coil or resort to rebellion as a way of adopting to your zero tolerance policy in the house.

Some children will rebel to get noticed, or for you, as their parent, to pay attention. Sometimes this rebellion can lead to their undoing if not checked early enough.

Many children do not know how to communicate effectively. They may resort to rebellion to try and get over their wounded feelings caused by your constant condemnation of their faults.

Here are some signs that you could be a harsh parent:

Your child constantly lies

When you constantly catch your child in a lie, this could be a sign that you are too harsh.

Children constantly feel the need to hide the truth because they are too scared of facing the wrath of their parents or guardians.

This may mean your punishments are unorthodox or your constant berating is getting into them in the wrong way. Children are not born liars but they learn how to survive in the environment they find themselves.

Strive to be a safe channel that your child can easily run to when they are in distress.

When your child is scared of you, they are likely to coil and as a parent you could miss important milestones or fail to notice abuse.

You are unapproachable

When you feel like you always hear things about your child late or after everyone else has processed it, you are probably overly harsh with your child or unapproachable.

When you are not the number one go-to for your child, that’s a problem. If you constantly learn about your child’s milestones or mistakes from neighbours, elder siblings, nannies or your spouse, then you have no safe connection with your child.

Your child probably fears you will rebuke them or punish them more than they deserve.

Children need to be corrected, but do it with love. When your child finds a second party safer than you, loosen up a little and build your relationship with your child.

Children may never say it, but they crave to connect with their parents, after all, you are their number one caregiver.

You have a list of unending rules

Having rules to help you around the house is not a bad thing, but when they are too many for your child to keep up, that’s a problem.

To know that your rules are impossible to keep up with, you will notice that you are constantly nagging people around you about not following your rules.

It is good to have rules about the most important chores or things you would like your children to have in mind, like making their bed. That’s easy because that’s a mess they can handle.

Remember your children will someday have to live their own lives. When you constantly critic everything they do; even how they noisily walk in the house or how much they eat, this may lead to a low self-esteem.

As a result they might end up constantly depending on other people’s approval even as adults.

Your sole focus is on education

Every parent wants their child to succeed and everything you do is a step in that direction. However, too much of something is dangerous.

When you constantly quiz everything your child is doing and find a way to channel it back to their classwork and their future, you need to loosen up a little.

Children need to play and have fun while doing going through education.

As a parent, don’t recommend games or friends for your kid without giving your them a good reason for not liking their choices.

Allow the natural process, let your children grow and learn from their mistakes.

Education is important but when a child is growing, it’s not the only thing they need. Too much work without play makes Jack a dull boy.

You have chosen a career for your child

When you are the kind of parent that imposes a certain career choice on your child, you are not only too strict but also a bully.

You want to bully your child into doing what you want and love. When you constantly feel the need to advise your child on areas that need perfecting concerning career choice, you might need to pump the breaks.

Have you taken the time to ask you child what they want to be in future? Offering guidance is good, but you should allow them to make their choices.

It might not be what you want for them, but remember that the future is theirs, and forever is a long time doing what you don’t enjoy.