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How to practice self-love while in a relationship

Readers Lounge By Rachel Murugi
To be able to give in full, we must be full from within first (Shutterstock)

A relationship is a two way traffic. Relationships are meant to involve people giving and receiving from their partners thus maintaining a perfect balance. In some instances, however, some find themselves giving too much as their partners take too much from them.

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There comes a time when we come to the realization that to be able to give in full, we must be full from within first. This means, prioritizing self-love guides us on how we can love other people and have a happily ever after.

Here are some tips to guide you how to practice self-love in your relationship:       

Communicate your expectations

If you have ever attended any self-love conference, you may remember being asked to write down your values. By writing down your values, you dig deep and remind yourself of what you stand for. You need to constantly remind yourself what you want, your dreams, and what your short-term and long-term goals are. Not only is this important to your individual setting but it also plays a huge role in choosing and staying with a partner. We can only be with people whom we are compatible with. When you love, understand and appreciate yourself, you tend to communicate your expectations clearly.

Work on your weaknesses

In many instances, we leave our partners with the huge task of having to deal with our bad habits and tolerate our weaknesses instead of doing it ourselves. By embracing self-love, you are able to identify a lot about yourself and accordingly purpose to improve.

Going for self-improvement meetings and learning how to deal with your bad habit will also strengthen your bond. This way, you get to rebuild a better you, one who is able to offer a better bargain to their partner. After all, no one likes dealing with baggage that is not theirs. By getting to work on your weaknesses, you show how much you value your relationship.

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Create a ‘me-time’ routine

You need to make time when you concentrate solely on re-energizing yourself. Sometimes being with someone can be very demanding and might drain your emotions. When you create time to relax and prioritize making yourself happy, you in turn radiate the warm resultant mood to your partner.

Buying yourself a gift, sitting at the corner in a restaurant are examples of what you can angage yourself with during your ‘me-time’.

If you love yourself, you attract people who love you (Shutterstock)

Walk away if it gets toxic

Value yourself enough to notice the red flags and have the courage to say no to a relationship that is not building you. Despite the pressures from outside, a relationship involves two parties. If you are feeling the pain, pack and leave. When you feel disrespected in a relationship or your expectations are not being met, be ready to call the shots of walking away.

Loving yourself will always have your antenna raised to notice anything that doesn’t go down with your values. Gather your inner courage, love yourself and know there is always better beside your partner.

Do not allow body shaming from your partner

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Imagine being someone who constantly ridicules the way you look! There’s a difference between being ridiculed and being encouraged to have a healthier lifestyle. Loving yourself means cutting off anyone who makes you feel unworthy and injures your self-esteem. You will be keen to communicate to your partner to either stop body shaming you or ask them to leave for someone they can appreciate.

Staying with someone who reminds you how beautiful you are and acknowledges the seasons of life which affect someone’s body is what matters.


If you love you, you attract people who love you and you are able to draw the line when loving others. Prioritize yourself and build on your self-esteem so as to have a lasting healthy relationship.

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