Several weeks ago, I was at a house party and my best mate’s wife was there on her own, as he had an office do, so I offered to drive her home. In the car, we ended up kissing.
If I’m honest, it was a long time coming, as I’ve fancied her for years and I was pretty sure she felt the same way about me.
Since then, we’ve met a few times and slept together. I’m not proud of betraying my mate, but the attraction between his wife and me is so strong – it’s like we’ve always been destined to be together.
I’ve been single for a couple of years and have had a few long-term relationships in the past, but my mate and his wife have been together since they were 22 and we’re all 33 now. There are no kids involved, which I’m relieved about, but I know this will crush him if or when he finds out.
I’ve talked to her about our next move and she wants us to be together, but neither of us really has the courage to break it to her husband. He’s a good guy and I’m fully aware of the consequences.
We’re in love, but we know it’s an impossible situation.
Well, you could just stay away from each other – you just don’t want to. How sure are you that this woman is serious about leaving her husband for you? They’ve been together a long time and since they were pretty young, so how do you know for sure that your affair isn’t just a bit of excitement for her because her marriage is in a rut?
I wonder how she’d really feel if the affair came out – would she leave him to be with you or would she go back to him, leaving you with nothing but a broken heart and no best mate?
Having said all that, if you’re genuinely in love and there’s no turning back, then she needs to do the right thing and leave her husband. And, in the meantime, while she’s sorting it all out, you need to put your relationship on hold.
Clearly, your friend will be devastated because he’ll be losing his wife and his best mate – your relationship will have to go public at some point – and you have to be prepared to deal with that.
You need to talk to her about the reality of the situation and whether your relationship is strong enough to survive outside the cocoon of your affair.
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