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Girl Talk: ‘Bro Code’ has all the negative baggage ladies hate in dating

Readers Lounge - By Anne Muiruri | December 10th 2019 at 06:50:00 GMT +0300
These friendship rules that makes up the sect is the essence of toxic masculinity (Shutterstock)

I have a thing against men who pride in the ‘bro code’ wave. I wouldn’t even know where to begin in unpacking the stupidity that is the bro code hogwash.

These friendship rules that makes up the sect is the essence of toxic masculinity.

I am especially perturbed by the so-called golden rule of the bro code; bros before hoes. First of all, I don’t think any sensible person would have much consideration for a precept that refers to women as ‘hoes’.

Secondly, while I am all for prioritising friendships, I don’t think ‘bros before hoes’ should be taken to mean that men should look the other way when a fellow man does something that hurts a woman but sadly, this is how most men interpret this particular bro code nonsense.

The bro code rule ‘bro before hoes’ dictates that a man should never tell on another man no matter the circumstances because, apparently, a man’s loyalty is to his fellow bro.

This means that, if you know your bro is toxic, say he is a serial cheater or even abusive and you see him going after a woman, you should do nothing to warn the woman because, bros before hoes.

You should let the bro claim his conquest regardless of the woman’s safety.

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Most men would root for their friend and try to paint him a stand-up guy in front of a woman he is trying to win over even if they know that he is a ‘bure’ guy who will be no good for her.

Most men turn a blind eye to the philandering ways of their friends.

They know that the guy has a woman in his life yet they condone or even encourage him to get involved with other women because their perceived loyalty to him is more important than doing the right thing.

If his friends are misogynistic or they are serial cheaters, don't bother covering for him (Shutterstock)

It is ridiculous! One of the most important lesson I have learnt in dating is that a man’s friends are a reflection of who he is.

When you first start going out with a man, you should observe his friend’s behaviour very carefully.

It doesn’t matter what a seemingly great guy your boyfriend is, if his friends are wayward in any way, it always spells bad news.

If his friends are misogynistic or they are serial cheaters, it doesn’t matter how you try to cover him.

The fact that he is condoning such behaviour from his friends speaks volume about his character.

Listen up men, it is high time you retire this ‘bro before hoes’ nonsense. The truth is, there is absolutely nothing honourable about being complacent to another bro’s immoral behaviour.

I am sure some of you are probably thinking that it should be none of your business what your bro does or does not do.

How would you feel if it were your sister who was about to get involved up with a shady guy?

I am pretty sure you would not be yapping ‘bros before ‘hoes’. You would intervene and look out for her safety.

Why can’t you do the same when it is another woman getting involved with a well-known toxic guy?

It doesn’t matter if the bro in question has been your best friend for a long time, if you see a bro acting shady around a woman, you should do the right thing. At the very least call him out on it.

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