Confessions: Ridiculous reasons why people break up (Part One)

It’s quite unfortunate that relationships come to an end although, sometimes, it actually does need to come to an end. Common reasons such as cheating, lack of communication or just general loss of love are the “acceptable” reasons for a breakup. But then there are times you just want to get rid of your significant other, mean but necessary.

Below are some confessions from our Eve Digital audience as to why they had to break up with their partners.

1. Bad breath

"He was a classmate in uni and we were in the same group. I thought he was cute and we ended up dating not long after. Two months into the relationship, he tried to kiss me and I realised that his breath stunk. It wasn’t morning breath grade. It was more like a nuclear reactor meets sewage pipe. You can just imagine the smell. The relationship didn’t last long after that. ~ B.N

2. Poor conversationist

He was perfect, physically. Tall, dark, handsome, a smile that would start an Indian Ocean you know where. But every time we would chat, the conversation would always revolve around the weather and traffic. Long story short, I got bored and that was the end of that. ~ R.S

3. Bad kisser

So this fool took months to court me, hyped up his game and had me convinced that he’ll knock the wind out of me. And because I’m a good human being, I gave him a chance and believe you me, I was tempted to throw myself off KICC after our first kiss. The amount of saliva he left in my mouth could fill a 20L water jerrican. I’m not even kidding. ~ J.B

He asked me out two days after we met. The conversation was great and he was the perfect gentleman. Then he leaned in for that first kiss. I was really looking forward to it, no lie. Then his lips met mine, and one, there were no fireworks. Two, his tongue darted in and out of my mouth like a reptile. Yuck! ~ T.K

4. Shared a name with my ex

I never actually knew his real name initially. He was always addressed by his nickname. One day he sent me money via Mpesa and I didn’t recognise the name, so I called him to confirm if he was the sender and lo and behold, he shared the first two names with my ex. It was really awkward from then on. I had to end it. ~ A.A

5. Shared a name with my dad

He used to go by an alias and nobody ever addressed by his first name. We went for a concert and at the gate they required us to remove our IDs. Upon entering the venue, he asked if I could put his ID in my purse for safekeeping. Curiosity led me to glance at his name and there it was in bold letters, my deadbeat father’s name. Let’s just say the concert wasn’t enjoyable after that. ~ K.C

Stay tuned for part two…It gets spicy.

If you have your own confessions, email us at [email protected]. We guarantee anonymity.