Girl talk: Do everything to keep love afloat but never share phone password

I once dated a guy who said he was secure if I shared my phone’s password with him. He was willing to give me his password as well as a sign of trust and commitment. His thinking was that there was nothing to hide between us as we dated.

He believed that sharing the passwords would make our relationship a stronger one.  I laughed him out of my life. I would never share my phone password or even that of my social media accounts.

But, it is not for the reasons that you could be thinking about. I take dating seriously.

When I commit myself to someone, I am faithful to a fault. I don’t even flirt with other guys. I have nothing to hide.

Having said that, I still wouldn’t share passwords with my boyfriend and I think it is ridiculous that some love birds find it a necessity.

Sharing passwords doesn’t equal trust, the fact that you need to have each other’s passwords is proof of little trust if any, in the relationship.

You want to spy on each other and such measures turn timebombs when one of you comes across something unbearable.

While actively monitoring your partner’s phone might deter him from ‘straying’ to a degree, it says a lot about the relationship.

I don’t know about you but I would rather have my boyfriend stay faithful to me because he loves me out of free will, not because he is under surveillance.

I have been in three serious relationships so far and I’ve never bothered to know my boyfriends’ phone password even when I smell cheating. Knowing your partner’s phone password does not solve the underlying trust issues in the relationship, I have come to learn with age.

The major reason I would not share mine, however, is that relationships are never that serious. I have a life outside the relationship that has nothing to do with him just as he has a part that has nothing to do with me.

I have friends who share intimate experiences with me and trust me to keep the matters confidential. Giving a boyfriend access to such exclusive content is betrayal.

I would be livid if I ever found out that my close friend allowed her boyfriend access to our girl talks. It is sacrilegious.

And I must say that relationships don’t always last, sometimes they break up in dramatic fashion.

Jilted lovers change and have acquired the repute of using the information they gathered during the good days to blackmail their former lovers.

When such occurs, just recall that it boils down to sharing passwords. With the access to your social media and email passwords, you are never certain of what they will do once you break up.

Cheeky lovers are known to store arsenals to be used against you in the form of screen shots of your secret conversations and revealing photos which they can use to bring you down once you break up.

Trust is important in a relationship but there has to be a line somewhere.

Remember that you are entitled to privacy even when in a so called tight union. Put a password to guard your key information and don’t share it with your lover. People change!