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Things to consider before getting back with your ex

Relationships By Lutfiya Wanjiru

They are possibly still trash!

Relationships ending are a normal occurrence. Either it's civil or a full blow up episode of Nairobi Diaries. When you part ways with your significant other, the last thing on your mind is reconciling. Usually the pain and hurt propel you down a dark hole of ‘I wish they get hit by boda boda’ or something along those lines. But as time passes and the anger evaporates, you stalk their social media for a quick second and an idea pops into mind, ‘What if we got back together?’. Now before you profess your undying love, again, here are a few things to consider:

1. Have you resolved your issues?

Breakups happen for a reason, one decided to cheat another decided that being a prick is the order of the day. Whichever the case, the two of you parted ways. Now have you outgrown whatever issues you had, has your ex done the same? Do they look at life the same way? Just because you ‘love’ them, doesn’t mean getting back together is the answer.

2. Do they want you back?

Most of the time, your Ex doesn’t even want to see your face, even the mere mention of your name induces shivers, and not the good kind. Before embarking on this conquest of reconciling, first find out if they want you back. Don’t assume because it will end badly for you. Also, find out if they are seeing someone else. Moving on is inevitable so your ex would have found someone else and is happy. Don’t get in between their relationship. Go look for someone too.

3. What is your driving force for getting back together?

If the answer to this is sex then you need to re-evaluate your priorities. You shouldn’t want to get back with someone just because their bedroom skills are amazing. You get back with them because of the love and appreciation you feel towards them. You both also need to forgive each other before even the idea of getting back together is brought up. Moreover, children are also not a valid reason to get back together. The kids need to be raised by loving parents who adore each other and not those that turn every conversation into a WWE episode.

At the end of the day, the choice is yours. If you’re willing to put in the work and fix things well and good. But......if you’re like me...an ex is an ex for a reason. Move on with your life, if you find each other later on, that’s awesome, but as for now, I’d never get back with any of my exes...just sayin’.

Would you get back with your ex?

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