Girl code: It’s my body, my weight, not yours

Let’s talk about men and weight. By ‘weight’ I don’t mean those in the gym but the weight carried by us women who feature in these men’s lives.

I really have no problem with the men who go for their preferences; what I can’t and will never understand is why some men go for chubby women only to start manipulating them to lose weight or grab the nearest slender woman and start arm-twisting her to gain weight.

Dear men, if you want a chubby woman, hit that road and hit it well. Likewise, if your eyes were meant for the slender ones, may those eyes never wander around chubby women and bring hell on earth thereafter.

Not so long ago, a man who had been on my poor neck for a while asking for a relationship finally got me to honour a lunch date only for him to start telling me how much I need to eat to add some weight.

By the way, he didn’t say it as accommodative as I did. Maybe I should quote him verbatim for you to get the insult as I did. “Beryl, you are just bones with a fine ass.”

I almost choked on the water I was drinking. This man repeated this statement not twice but thrice, every time adding some emphasis.

You would be forgiven for thinking he was some Yokozuna mogul lying on some beach in Santorini being fanned using dollars by servants pimped in gold from head to toe.

But nah, he was just the ordinary man gracing streets of Nairobi in some Ziko open shoes and side pocket shorts with a striped t-shirt.

If you cannot date a slender woman, what exactly would you be doing harassing their phones with a trillion date requests? If you want to be in charge of people’s weights, how about you become a gym instructor?

This man even gave me three weeks to add at least three kilos or forget he ever existed. He was forcing me to eat lots of food as if I was some pig at an eating competition. I chose to forget his existence.

I don’t know about you but I do not put on weight by eating large portions of food. In fact, ever since I came to this planet, the only thing that made me put on weight was my pregnancy.

If anything, I only gained five kilos in those nine months. So I don’t see how someone would expect me to add three kilos in three weeks unless I am an empty debe being filled every hour with God knows what.

We have all been given the right to choose our partners. No one forces anyone to go for either the chubby or the slender humans. Just make your bed and lay on it for Pete’s sake!

I see my fellow women miserably trying to add or lose weight to please a man.

Dear fellow women, regulate your weight for your own good, not because someone is using it to threaten you.

If he doesn’t love your weight, tell him to hit the highway. Remove his side mirrors, if possible, so he doesn’t get tempted to look back.

Come to think of it, do you men really think we are head over heels in love with some of your weights? You are lucky because when we love, we do it unconditionally such that we overlook all the flaws we might see in you.

Could you just reciprocate by loving us unconditionally? Why would you give a fellow human an ultimatum to gain or lose weight within a period of time without fail and claim to love them at the same time?

Next time I detect a man who loves them big wobbling his feet in the slender women’s lane or vice versa, I will use the karate my grandfather taught me to put them back where they belong.

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