Girl code: Pregnant women do not fake cravings

Three years ago around this time, I was pregnant with my daughter. Believe me, I had the worst morning sickness on this side of the planet. I would wake up feeling like my body was the headquarters for all ailments seen and unseen.

One day, I checked myself into a hospital and told the doctor my life was in danger. I claimed the pregnancy was going to finish me. The doctor just laughed at me and that alone made me storm out of his office. I had lost my appetite almost as soon as I conceived and my sense of smell trippled. I could almost smell the beach in Mombasa all the way from my neighbourhood in Komayole.

I woke up this morning thinking about how much my pregnancy harassed me and how it almost turned me to a person I wasn’t. The other day, I heard someone claiming that expectant women were good at pretending. She was saying they pretend not to like certain things and people, food, and even environment. According to her, most expectant women just use their condition to bully those around them. I simply looked at her and recited the Lord’s Prayer five times to prevent me from responding to her allegations on the spot.

I have been wanting to respond since then and, finally, I have come here to do so. You see, no two pregnancies are the same. Some pregnant women will treat you like you are holier than Mary while others will make you look like you have been sent by the devil himself. It all depends on the hormones her body picks during that time. Believe me, there is little a woman can do to control these emotions. 

In my case, for instance, every human being around me suddenly had a different smell and most scents threw me off balance and got me venting. I don’t know where I got the guts from but back then, I could confidently tell someone to steer clear of my path because I couldn’t stand their smell. On a normal day, I don’t even have guts to say hi to a stranger.

My tears were always on their marks, like they were about to participate in some Marathon in London. I would cry at the slightest provocation. One day, I even started wailing because the sun kept moving, affecting the shade under which I was resting. Instead of just quietly moving with the shade, I stood up and started wailing, invoking the name of my late mother and trying to report to her how cruel the world had become to me.

Carrying a pregnancy is even worse when your finances are on their death bed. Dear sisters, please remember this whenever you are planning to have a baby. If your account balance is lower than the carpet on hell’s basement, resist the urge to have a baby. Pregnancies come with some crazy cravings and woe unto you if you cannot afford them. You might even wake up one day craving the smell of the ocean yet you are tucked somewhere in South Kinangop. That’s the day you will know how crazy cravings can get.

I one day woke up craving to do a wedding yet the only place my bank account could take me was the shop behind my house. Other than that, there was no groom in sight, not even out of sight. I have never cried as much as I cried that day.

By the way, crying while pregnant isn’t one of those things you will enjoy doing. As you cry, you cough. As you cough, your belly shakes. As your belly shakes, your bladder reacts and all of a sudden you want to urgently visit the washroom. You are lucky if you get to the washroom on time. Many times, I kept my faith and finished my race just at the entrance of the washroom. Good thing though, pregnancy comes with the greatest confidence. Pregnant women have no room for shame.

Anyway, if you are privileged to spend some time with an expectant lady, -- be it a minute, an hour or a day, be that understanding human around them. Pregnant women don’t pretend one single bit; they are just innocent people whose emotions have been hijacked by pregnancy hormones. Don’t make things worse for them, be nice.

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