Men are right to be skeptical about the male friends their wives or girlfriends keep.
A lot of women are carrying on emotional affairs under the guise of platonic friendships and what’s worse, they may not even realise they are having emotional affairs. As it turns out, there is a very thin line between these seemingly benign friendships and emotional affairs.
There are things you may do involving your platonic male friend that you might think are harmless, but actually entail crossing the line into emotional affair territory. Here are a few signs that you are having an emotional affair:
You dress up to impress your male friend: I had a coworker who became very close with one of our male coworkers. She insisted that the relationship was strictly platonic because she had a boyfriend.
However, one time, the male co-worker told her that she looked really good in skirts as opposed to pants, which she usually wore to work. I realised that from then on, she wore skirts much more often in a bid to impress him. She may not have realised it, but she was neck-deep in an emotional affair.
If you find yourself going out of your way to look good for your male friend, you are having an emotional affair.
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You confide in your male friend rather than your partner: If your male friend is the first person you run to when you have a problem, or when you have some exciting news to share, or even when you need to vent about something, you may need to reevaluate your relationship.
Your partner should be your first go-to person for all these. He should be the first to know when you are happy, sad or angry, not your male friend.
You share personal details about your partner with your male friend: While it is okay to share details of your life with your friend, sharing personal stuff about your partner, like fights you have had or his shortcomings over and over again, with your male friend, is a sign of an emotional affair. It is especially bad if you find yourself comparing your partner to your male friend.
You try to be alone with your male friend as much as possible: Women who are having emotional affairs go as far as lying to their partners, just so they can hang out with their emotional affair partners.
They may not think it is wrong because there is no hanky-panky involved. Just because you are not having sex doesn’t mean you are not cheating. You should not prioritise spending time with your friend at the expense of your partner.
You have conversations with your male friend that you wouldn’t want your partner to see: Emotional affairs usually lead to flirtation. Some people don’t think flirting is a big deal, but it is. If you are having flirty conversations with your male BFF that you know would upset your partner, so you hide it from them, you are definitely having an emotional affair.
If your friendship with your male friend is truly platonic, you wouldn’t need to hide texts, emails and DMs from your partner.