You are rummaging through the closet, searching for requisite documents to present to government for a Huduma number as well as renew your passport. You can’t seem to find it in your drawer, so you try her drawers.
And what a Pandora box?
Like a curious cat, as you rummage through, you encounter some stuff that prove women can keep some pretty bad secrets from their hubbies.
The first thing you encounter is a certificate for some piece of land they own with one of her numerous chamas. You have never heard of this particular one. Next is a printed Mpesa statement. You do a forensic scrutiny and you notice two men who raise your eyebrows.
One is baby daddy. Despite the fact that you pay school fees for little Farrah, feed and clothe her, looks like there is a secret pact between her and her baby daddy for upkeep, or business or something. The sums are huge, they don’t make sense. Caroline has never disclosed this to you. But you notice it is something that started recently.
Then there is another man. There seems to be lots of sending and receiving money between the two. What is going on?
You rummage some more. Lord, she keeps every record. There is a receipt paid to a famous sexologist. Whatever service she received.
Then, there is a diary with lots of sticky notes. She seems to be attending certain forums, where they are asked to write down what troubles their hearts the most. And it turns out, she isn’t so happy with you. Then why is she staying?
You restore everything as it was and go back to searching the documents you need to get the Huduma number. You wonder what goes on in her mind? How is she calm with all the secrets she has kept? She never even talks about it in her dreams. How is she able to compartmentalise all this, package what she can tell you and what she can’t.
You seriously have to investigate the two men. She had stopped talking to the baby daddy for a long time. When did they rekindle their affection?
You wonder if there are any secrets you have kept from her. Not exactly. You live your life as an open book. There are very few secrets, if any that you have. She knows all your bank accounts and what they contain. She knows every asset you own. And in most of it, she is the next-of-kin. You wonder who is the next-of-kin for her earthily, possessions. Certainly, you feature nowhere.
Is it worth confronting her? Certainly, she will defend her actions to death and accuse you of pettiness and gaslight you until you apologise. That is the tricky bit of confronting a woman.
Also when people know you snoop on them, they become even more cagey.
You take courage in the fact that however secretive one is, soon or later, they screw up.
It is life.