How do you break news that you have genital herpes to your partner? - Evewoman

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How to break news that you have genital herpes to your partner

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How do you tell your partner you have genital herpes? Well, irrespective of how difficult answering this question can be, you must tell your partner when you have genital herpes.

With no clear way of how to go about it, picking the right time, and saying it the right way may give you a good chance of working things out between you and your mate. Put considerations on how you want them to perceive the news. Do not make it a huge problem by saying “Babe, I have some dreadful news.” Instead, compose yourself before unemotionally and casually breaking the news to them.

The same case applies when you start having perceptions on how they will react. Do not give him or her leading statements like “I know you are going to freak out about this.” When you do this, you are setting them up to panic and their reaction, henceforth, will likely be influenced. Your choice of words also play a big part on how your partner will react. Avoid negative imagery by describing your condition as disgusting, incurable or horrible. Such words load the discussion with negativity and makes it hard to plainly understand each other.

Be prepared to answer questions

You are likely to encounter a lot of questions when you break the news to your partner, as thus, you need to be well equipped. Learn all that you can about the disease and when breaking the news to your mate, put stress on statistics that make the condition look ‘common.’ For instance, when you tell them that one out of five people have genital herpes, it brings some relief to them. It is also prudent that you go farther and elaborate what it means to have it.


Other than language, the place where you choose to break the news can also influence how your partner will react. Look at it as if you want to deliver news of a death in the family. Do not call your partner while they are at work, or casually walk into a room and say “Look, we have to talk.” In other words, you must not interrupt what they are doing to break the news. You need to find a relaxing place where both of you can have some uninterrupted lone time. Have a conversation over a quiet dinner, or take a walk together and let the topic come up naturally in the conversation. If he or she is a new partner you have never had intimacy with, asking them first if they have any sexually transmitted diseases can be a good way to start the conversation.

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It is not predictable how your partner will take the news, irrespective of how you deliver it, but you must never get defensive. Let him or her take time to think over it and calm down as they come to terms with the news. Maybe not the first problem you have to handle as partners, and if your relationship is valuable enough to continue, it might not be the last.

The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of

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