Master of Descriptions: If relationships had democracy - Evewoman
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Master of Descriptions: If relationships had democracy

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If there was freedom of speech. Freedom of movement. Freedom of expression. Freedom of mass communication. Then I guess we wouldn’t be lying to one another. I imagine my girlfriend will ask me if it's okay to date another dude. She'll notice him. She'll tell me that he is her crush. And I, I would be in charge of vetting the dude in some sort of evaluation process. To see if he is worthy of my girlfriend. If he is worth the tender. Knowing that it would just be a fling. That it would fade away eventually. That the dude will run off after delivering his services, I'll allow my girlfriend to go to him. 'Cause, she asked me if it's okay to have him. And I agreed. For I'll be here to stay, in her life. And I'll ask of the same, and she would arguably agree to it, when I want to be with another girl. 'Cause this are what we often go through in relationships. But behind the curtains, when our partners are not aware. So how about we do it in an open space, to save our partners the heartache and sheer jealousy?

It wouldn't be called cheating. We wouldn't be lying to ourselves. When he's done with the other chick, you'll ask your boyfriend, "did that bi*** treat you right?" This is not just a game. When your girlfriend will have finished with her dude, you'll ask her, "did that Nigga treat you right? Did you use protection?" See, you'll have set the rules of the game. Transparency and accountability will be of high value. "Did he satisfy you?" If she says no, then you'll have to look for that Nigga, and hold him accountable for under performance. I don't know, but if you may, you can rough them up, for having an excellent CV with nothing tangible in reality. If she says yes, then you might discuss the available options, terminating her contract with the dude, or let the dude continue providing his services. As you will be doing the same.

If relationships had democracy, then I guess we'll all be like public enterprises. Easily accessible to anyone within the public domain. A thing with all these public enterprises, with time they lose value, they start to underperform. 'Cause their resources will have been outstretched. They'll fall eventually, and no one will dare look at them with lascivious eyes as they used to, when they were privatized. See, there's a beautiful thing with privatization of relationships, it makes us remain in the realm of being reserved for the person we love. It makes us look expensive in the eyes of the public. That they wouldn't afford to have us. We only start losing that when we act cheap. When we let our value depreciate and act in desperation. A thing with the desperados, they tend to be clingy. They don't know their worth. So come on girl, hide that cookie jar from the world. Come on dude, stop flaunting your cucumber to the masses.

If relationships had democracy. I imagine, we would limit ourselves to some sort of a social contract. That we would from time to time renew. Like politicians, knowing all the promises they never kept. Yet we still re-elect them. Would you renew your contract with your boyfriend, knowing all the things he said and did that hurt you? Would you still love him? If relationships had such democracy, to build on transparency and accountability of our hidden affairs, to achieve trust. I imagine, that my girlfriend and I, would have formed some sort of a coalition. Where we'd both bring our issues to the table. Help each other achieve their desires, even if it meant hurting our own selves. Are we ready to be that selfless with the ones we love?

I guess not. I guess all relationships are dictatorial in some way. You don't do this because your girlfriend doesn't like it. You stop chatting with your male friends because your boyfriend doesn't like it. He can't handle a little form of competition. He has insecurities paraded on his eyes every time you step out. You can't even comfortably let out that ballistic fart in bed, because your girlfriend is sleeping next to you. There's no freedom of snoring. No freedom of drinking with buddies at the pub during weekends. He can't trust you, because you have more male friends than female friends. He can't understand any better. You'll have to go through his phone, and demand knowing who his contacts are. If they aren’t his sisters or mom, what business do they have?

I don't know any better. Somehow we always get it wrong. We have forgotten that relationships are like marriage. If you are not ready for commitments, why waste time? If you are not ready for some sort of dictatorship why even bother? Go out there and find your own democracy then. Simple

ALSO READ: How to give your partner space without drifting apart

The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Evewoman.co.ke

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