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Adventure shouldn't get in the way of safe love making

Living

Dear Eve,

I love sex so much and I have multiple partners but I am concerned about being safe. I don't want to get sick. What can I do?

 

Dear reader,

Thank you for your question. I must admit that yours is the rare letter that admits to enjoying sex and seeking to enjoy it responsibly.

Good for you! It’s one thing to have sex; it’s quite another to have it in a manner that puts you and/or your partners at risk. Since I am unable to determine your age or gender, I am making the assumption – as I always do for this column – that you are an adult of sound mind engaging in consensual sex. I will also address your concerns as best as I can, from a unisex perspective.

Given recent statistics, you are right to be concerned; it would be naïve in this day and age to choose ignorance, which is why I am happy with your quest for “safer sex”. Please note that we are discussing “safe sex” because all preventative measures carry with them a measure of risk.

The only so-called “safe sex” is abstinence because it is 100% effective. That being said, millions of men and women are having sex and doing it responsibly and safely.

Let us look at some of the more common STIs that are in existence today. These include gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), HSV (Herpes Simplex Virus), Trichomoniasis, Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) which leads to AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) and Hepatitis, of which there are 5, although Hepatitis B is the one that’s mainly an STI. While we cannot address each one of these in today’s column, please note the following:

Some of these STI’s e.g. gonorrhea, chlamydia, HPV and herpes can be silent, meaning that they have no symptoms or symptoms that are so mild or common that they are confused for other conditions e.g. bleeding in-between a woman’s period, itching, burning and/or vaginal discharge which can be confused for yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis. This is why you must see a doctor if you notice any changes. Some of these STI’s can cause serious complications e.g. infertility, scarring that can cause ectopic pregnancies in women, Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) which is also associated with infertility. Again, if you notice changes in your body, don’t panic; doctors have seen it all. Just speak to your doctor and let them examine, diagnose and treat you accordingly. If a woman is pregnant, it is important that she disclose any known STIs so that the doctors can protect both mother and baby. Men are often silent carriers of HPV so they may pass it on to their partners without their knowledge.

So what can you do to protect yourself?

The most common protection available is the condom. It is easily available, affordable - sometimes even free – and effective when correctly used. Please note that there are both male and female condoms, of which the male condoms are more easily accessible. This should go without saying but wear a new fresh condom each time, do not use any condoms if the packaging has been pierced or damaged in any way and you must change condoms if you engage in anal or oral sex.

Always check your condom before use to ensure that it has not expired and it is still viable. If it does rip or come off mid-coitus and you are concerned about infection, please see a doctor within 72 hours- sooner rather than later is better. Avoid sharing sex toys, needles or anything that contains bodily fluids. If oral sex is part of your sexual repertoire and you are concerned about getting an genital-to-oral STI, you can use a dental dam. A dental dam is a small piece of latex that you can place between your mouth and your partner’s body which then acts as a barrier thus lowering your chances of contracting an STI in this way.

Get tested

Regular testing will not protect you from contracting an STI but it *will* protect your partner if you do test positive because you can abstain and also share with them so they, too, can get tested. In addition, regular testing will help you narrow down the time of infection and/or partner, which will be useful when it comes time to disclose to your status and/or determine any targeted treatment, even for those STI’s that have no cure.

At this point, I should point out that if you have engaged in risky sexual behavior, it is imperative that you disclose to your doctor within 72 hours because then you can be placed on a protocol that will help to prevent infection; this is especially true for HIV, which now has two protocols to helps reduce chances of infection and increase chances of successful management of HIV; Post Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP) and Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PreP).

Get vaccinated. This is especially important for Hepatitis B, which can lead to liver damage and whose protocol has been in place for decades – long enough to have its efficacy tested. There are also a couple of HPV vaccines in the market, although these are still controversial for different reasons. Do your research and speak to your doctor to find out if these vaccines are appropriate for you.

Dear reader, I know that this information can be overwhelming but my hope for you is that this brief discussion will spur you on to identifying areas in which you have been doing well in terms of protecting yourself and others, as well as any areas in which you could improve so that your sexual pleasure does not become something for you to regret. I wish you a happy, healthy, STI-free sex life!

 

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